Care Package Sent

Still no update on Sofie through the traditional methods. My agency didn't even bother to get in touch with us this week, and they were open for part of the week.  I have been struggling this week with a lot of anger and resentment toward them and I don't like feeling this way. They have asked me not to send a care package to Sofie through a third party, yet they don't seem to be willing to take the necessary steps to get us what we need. Our initial request wasn't even for a picture. It was for additional height measurements that the International Adoption Doctor that we had consulted had requested. I still haven't even received those and it has been 31 days since we asked!

The breaking point finally happened this week when another Mom whose daughter is in the same orphanage told me about the updates that they had received on their daughter. The first update they were able to receive within 36 hours of issuing their LOI and the second update they had just before Christmas.  The orphanage is very receptive to requests for information and updates.....they just need to be asked.

Wednesday evening we ordered a care package through Ann at Red Thread China. She was fantastic! We ordered the package Wednesday evening and I had pictures of the package on Thursday. We are just waiting for it to be delivered! I am glad that we finally decided to send the gifts. I am still, however, racked with guilt. I am a rule follower by nature. I can't help it. I have never been one to deviate from the rules and I have always tried to respect other people and their views. I do, however, have a problem with someone saying that they are going to do something and then not doing it.  I feel like our agency hasn't even tried to help us out. If they have, then they need to communicate that better. 

We sent a very generic letter to Sofie and some gifts for the other children and the nannies too. I didn't want to send something from "Mom and Dad" as the wait for us to get there will still be a long time and I don't know how you can make a 2 year old understand that. I didn't want to do anything that would upset her or her life as she knows it now. I have tried to remember the concerns that our agency had regarding the care packages and I think it is reflected in what we sent and how we went about it. We have done the best that we could under the circumstances.

It makes me sad though. Most people are very excited when they send care packages and I just am not sure about how I feel. I am excited about possibly getting an update and pictures, I just wish it could have been done under better circumstances. 

I hope Sofie is doing well and that she, her friends and her nannies enjoy everything that we sent :)

I need a bigger Christmas Tree!

We had a great Christmas! I may need to get a bigger tree though, or at least one that has some clearance underneath it for gifts! It took us two hours to get through everything. 

Ainsley and my nephew Hunter had a blast. It is so much fun watching Christmas through the eyes of a child, especially kids who still believe in Santa. There is one moment that I will never forget. We were all opening our Christmas stockings and Ainsley and Hunter both unwrapped a candy cane ornament of their first initial. Ainsley then pulled out a neatly wrapped gift that said "To Sofie From Santa." It was a candy cane ornament in the initial S. Her eyes became as big as saucers and she started running around the family room shouting at the top of her lungs........"he know, he knows! Santa knows about my sister. Santa knows about Sofie. He knows I have a sister!!!" With all that has happened over the last two years that was the most "definitive" moment I have ever experienced. I think when you have difficulties adopting you have moments when you wonder if you are doing the right thing. If maybe all this stuff that has happened is the big guys way of saying it is time to move on and this is not the path you are supposed to be on. Yet you still believe so you keep moving forward. That one moment with Ainsley just melted my heart and I knew without a doubt that no matter what comes our way, our family will be OK. It is so real to Ainsley. The little girl in the pictures is her sister and will be forever :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a most joyous and prosperous New Year!!!!

Let Christmas not become a thing
Merely of merchant's trafficking,
Of tinsel, bell and holly wreath
And surface pleasure, but beneath
The childish glamour, let us find
Nourishment for soul and mind.
Let us follow kinder ways
Through our teeming human maze,
And help at the age of peace to come
From a Dreamer's martyrdom.

Madeline Morse

It's My Birthday....and I'll cry if I want to!!!!

Today is my birthday. Number 35......again. It was a good year so why change it!! I had a great day. My family is here and I celebrated with them and Ainsley and my nephew Hunter were super excited. They both bought me lip smacker lip gloss which I had to try on right away! It was awesome. The look in their eyes when you actually use something they picked out for you is fantastic. It totally made my day. It is nice to be able to celebrate with your family especially when they don't live close by. I am so thankful for today.
I did not, however, get the one gift I really wanted. A new picture of Sofie. I emailed our agency on Thursday and got the standard answer. I will email them to remind them. That was the same answer I received last week, however, it was never followed through on. I am a little bitter toward them right now and I don't like that feeling, especially this time of year. My father always taught me to stay true to your word. If you say you are going to do something then do it. I expect the same from others too.  I would be able to accept the wait for an update if my agency was doing everything that they could to obtain one but I do not think that they are. If they are, then they need to communicate that better.
I emailed our agency at the beginning of the week about sending a care package to the orphanage through a third party agency. Such agencies are used frequently by adoptive parents and usually they are given new pictures and a small update through the agency. I was strongly advised that this is not recommended and that I would be able to send a care package once I had an LOA. These are the same people that didn't want me to tell anyone about Sofie until we had an LOA! I understand why they have these rules. They want to protect the children. It is very hard to sit by though and watch everyone else post new pictures about their kids and I am told to just sit and wait and follow the rules, but, we are not going to do anything extra to ensure that you get an update. I am a little tired of them not looking out for their clients who have hired them.
I don't know what to do. The rule follower in me wants to just sit and follow the rules but the other part of me is tired of it and finally wants to do something for us, our family.
I am so glad that my family is here for Christmas. I treasure the time we get to spend together.
If I am unable to post again until after Christmas, I just want to wish everyone a joyous Christmas and a very prosperous New Year. Hugs those you love extra tight tonight :)

All I Want for Christmas

It is my birthday on Friday. All I want for Christmas and my birthday is one small picture...one small photo of our daughter. I just want to see what she looks like now and that she is OK. Please Santa if you are listening and I know you are cause I have an Elf on the Shelf in the house, just one picture is all I ask for :)

Christmas is officially here

For anyone who knows me, they all know that I love Christmas and I go completely out of my way to make it a special time of year. I usually drive myself crazy trying to get everything done. I have been totally off this year and have fallen way behind.....and I don't care. No Christmas baking this year and I have finally got all the decorations up and the tree done. This is the latest that I have ever finished my tree. Yes, it is my tree....Ainsley has her own. I am a little possessive when it comes to my Christmas tree. It is an pre lit artificial tree as I am allergic to real ones and got tired of suffering every year. So there has been a patch of lights burnt out for about 3 years now and no matter what we do, we cannot seem to remedy the problem. It drives me crazy but that part of the tree gets turned to the corner so no one can see it.....except me! THIS year I decide I am fixing it once and for all. I am going to put red lights on the tree too. You know how when you start stringing lights and you are not too sure how you should space them.......well, 6 sets of lights later and another trip to the store for more lights and VOILA! You can actually turn all the lights off in the living room and still read a book just by tree light! WOW!

Ainsley wanted to go to Target yesterday to buy a Christmas gift for Sofie so her sister would have something under the tree on Christmas morning. She picked three things out for Sofie all by herself making sure that there were no small parts as "her sister is little and can't have small things that she could put in her mouth yet." It was so cute :)

Nothing Yet!!

I emailed our agency yesterday and still no update on Sofie. They originally said that it would take about two weeks to get any information. It was two weeks on Thursday. I am trying to be patient.......not so easy. Our social worker told us that if they don't hear something soon she will email their China contacts to remind them. How about we email them now to remind them!!!!! I am kind of sad today. Sad and frustrated. The photos we have of Sofie were taken in September so I can only imagine how much she has changed. It is hard when your child is growing up and changing and you are not able to be a part of it let alone witness any of it. All I want for Christmas is one picture, hopefully in focus this time!

I don't have much else to report so.....let's update the bathroom reno!!! It is a complete bust! The ceiling looks great, the floor looks great, I have a toilet but no sink or wallpaper. Jim installed the floor last Tuesday and in the middle of it I received a phone call from the "wallpaper lady" who told me that my wallpaper was now on backorder until Dec 19. No chance of it being delivered before Christmas let alone installed. Suddenly, my "to do" list just got a whole lot shorter. Jim finished the floor and put the toilet back in and I added some festive decorations. Not my dream bathroom but at least we have a toilet on the main floor...a necessity with 5 adults and two kids in one house for 2 weeks over Christmas. Never remodel your bathroom one month before Christmas unless you are going to be away for Christmas :)

Back to waiting

Still no update available on our daughter. We were hoping for some additional information and maybe some pictures. Tomorrow will be two weeks since we asked so keep your fingers crossed. That would be the second best Christmas gift I could get, the first would be Sofie actually being here for Christmas. I have worn out the four pictures that we received in her referral. They are plastered all over the house and I stare at them. I think I am afraid I will forget what she looks like!

I will update the bathroom renovation tomorrow. It is a hilarious story that I do not have enough time to tell tonight. It kinda parallels our adoption story :)

Really...the next day!

Ok, so you know how I said yesterday that there may be hurdles, roadblocks and stumbles along our remaining journey......I didn't mean that it could start the next day! I have been having fun with my agency over how we need to sign our LOI paperwork, signature or sign entire name. I received an answer yesterday so we signed it and I sent it off overnight delivery with a signature required. Later that day I received an email from another person with a different answer to the question that had already been answered. The problem is the name that Jim had to use on all our documents is James but he signs Jim. James and Jim in Chinese are two completely different names and it confuses the translators as they think it is two different people! I fired off an email to everyone I deal with at the agency and basically told them to figure it out....now! I then politely asked, just double checking, that the addendum that was supposed to be added to our home study in June about Jim being James and they are the same person was actually added. It was not! After they all discussed it, the powers that be decided that a) our signatures were OK and b) the addendum is suddenly not necessary. I pity the person (if it ever comes to it which I hope it doesn't) that has to call me when our LOA wait is really long and tell me that China is confused about this Jim James guy and could we clarify it. It won't be pretty.

I have a new job now, ADOPTION SPECIALIST. It is my job to make sure that the people that I hired to take care of all the details are actually doing just that. I don't get paid though, wonder what I pay them for :)

A Big Sigh of Relief

Sorry about the abbreviated last post. It has been a crazy week. It is official we have our PA. For those of you who have asked, you know who you are, if you look down on the RT side of the blog there is a list of adoption abbreviations so that I don't have to explain it and you will know what I am talking about:) I may have some of it wrong too, so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know!

Our PA is a letter stating that someone in China has looked over all the tons of documents and paperwork that we had sent them along with our LOI and have decided that there are no problems and our adoption of Lu Jingjing may proceed. So I will lay out the next multiple steps for you so people can stop asking us why it takes so long for us to go get her now :) We are now in day 3 of our wait for LOA. All our documents proceed to a translation room where everything is translated into Chinese and then it moves to an in process room and no one has any idea what happens there....stuff just gets processed. This whole step could take anywhere from 30-130 days...no one knows! Next we file our I-800 which is our US immigration approval to adopt this specific child. This takes around 3-4 weeks. Next is the NVC(National Visa Center) cable which is an email or cable of our approval of our visa petition which gets sent to our agency and the US Embassy in China. This takes around 1-2 weeks??? It really gets confusing here. Next is the Article 5 which is issued by the US Consulate in China and that takes 2 weeks. That is then sent to the CCCWA and they will issue your TA or travel approval. It is at that point that you will know the exact dates that you travel and you usually leave only 2-3 weeks after the TA. There is the synopsis and that is why it takes soooooo long. I am sure I got some of that wrong as I don't fully understand it either.

Back to the PA (look at the column of abrev.) So Monday my agency could not get on the CCCWA site at all to print off my documents. Their website was down and I was having some communication issues with my agency. They though that they had done this step last week and that I had the documents, I informed them that they were wrong and I WAS nice about it. So Monday no PA, no documents....at this point I start thinking...so this is where the road block will be.....bring it on!!!!! For anyone that has followed us on this journey or had to listen to me rant and rave you will know that it has been a journey fraught with things gone wrong or not done right....usually not on my part. I wake up Monday and there is an email from my agency saying that we have our PA and here is an attachment of the documents for you to sign. WOW!!!!!!...and then I realize that there is no attachment to the email, no documents to sign.....really!! I just start to laugh as that is so typical with us.....and then I start to cry, and I cry and cry. I had not realized how guarded I was keeping my heart and my brain and how much of a wall I had built up to keep me from any further disappointment! It all came crashing down with two little letters PA! I was finally able to really think that Sofie is going to come here to live with us, forever! I had known from the time I first looked at her picture that she was our daughter, I was just so afraid something would go wrong. There may be hurdles,road blocks or stumbles, but, Sofie will be here with us, soon. I have done a lot of thinking the past few days and not a lot of Christmas decorating! I have been telling myself and everyone else that everything happens for a reason and there are reasons for everything we have been through. I just never really believed what I was saying until Tuesday. Everything over the last two years DID happen for a reason and that reason WAS Sofie. Her paperwork for a potential adoption had not been made ready until a short time ago so she was not eligible to be adopted until the Nov. list. If one thing out of all the things that went wrong for us over the last two years had gone right, we might have gone off on a different path and not ended up where we were. I haven't told many people, but, China was one of the programs that we had looked into initially but we chose Ethiopia instead. If we had chose China, we wouldn't have found her. We would have been matched with a child a long time ago. And then it dawned on me! The very first initial meeting we had at our adoption agency, which began our process, was the end of August, 2009. Sofie had just been born and was only about 2 weeks old when we started our adoption! Her date of birth is the same day as our wedding anniversary. "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break" -Chinese Legend .

We have another daughter :)

PA 12/6/11

Just received word that we have out PA (pre approval). As our social worker put it-CCCWA has pre approved our request to adopt Lu Jingjing. I will post more later after I can stop freaking out and crying. We are so happy......this is actually going to happen :)

Ohhh....my bathroom

Thought it was time for a bathroom update. We don't have a PA from China yet, so I have to have something to write about.

I have no sink, I have no toilet, I have no wallpaper! Oh yeah, and Jim went to put the Ikea vanity together and the dark chocolate brown vanity has dark chocolate brown sides and two very white drawer fronts.....I hate going to Ikea. Looks real nice! By the way it is supposed to be all one color and that color isn't white! Now we have to take this one back and get another one with matching sides. If this is done by Christmas I will make snow angels in the front yard :)

Destined to meet

So what are the chances that three women meet on a online "chat room" and then learn that all three of them have a lot in common......this is an adoption chat room so the fact that they are all adopting is not the shocker. The first one posts about her new blog and that you need to personal message me for the password. The other two, for some reason, decide to go ahead and ask her for the password, which is something they wouldn't normally do. After looking at the new blog they discover that all three little girls are in the same orphanage and all are fairly close in age. Yes, you guessed it, I have somehow managed to connect with two other women whose soon to be daughters are right now at this very moment, hanging out with Sofie Lu. I can't tell you how, when I think of what the actual chances are of this happening, I get a serious case of goosebumps. I had posted nothing on the chat room about where Sofie was. It was destiny, karma, fate or act of God....call it what you may. I call it amazing :)

Love this feeling

Everyday that passes I have more hope that this is actually going to happen and that Sofie is going to be part of our family. Slowly the walls around my heart that have protected me and let me survive to this point are melting away. I bought a large jar today and put gummy drops in it, one for each day that we have to wait until we can go get Sofie. I estimated and I really want a gum drop right now! Ainsley picks one gum drop a day out of the jar to help her count down until we can go get her sister. It isn't as large of a pile of gum drops as I thought it would be :)

Bathroom Update

Here is the bathroom update photo. Yes, that is all that is done. NEVER demo your bathroom before you order the wallpaper! It is on backorder until Dec 12 but I HAVE to have it. It won't be the ceiling that will blow the budget, it IS the wallpaper. So far it costs as much as the vanity,ceiling, faucet and whatever else we bought. Faux Ostrich Skin ain't cheap you know! It will be a miracle if this gets even close to finished by Christimas. Maybe if I can stay off the internet we have a chance. :)

I have a shop van instead of a sink :(

WOW

Wow this has been quite a week. I was in the kitchen making dinner tonight (OK, we had waffles, no not homemade, frozen) Ainsley came motoring through the kitchen singing a song. That child is always singing, moving or twirling! Here is the song she was singing "sofie lu sofie lu sofie lu" I had a huge smile on my face and then I was the recipient of "why are you laughing at me." She is at the age where she doesn't realize how cute she is or that she has an awesome sense of humor, also an awesome temper but that is another blog post for another day.

I has been an odd week too, full of emotions that I have never before felt. I am not even sure how to put it into words so I am hoping that by writing it down it will help. Unless your have adopted a child or had problems conceiving or infertility issues, someone else will never be able to understand what it is like after sooo long to finally look at a picture of your child. It is just impossible for me to describe it to you or to make you understand. That is why the friends you make online in chat groups are just as important as the ones that you have in your "real life." Your online friends understand you like no one else will ever be able to. Wow this post kinda went off in a whole other direction now. I am so grateful to everyone, real life and online, for always being there for us through all the good, bad and stressful times. I long ago determined that our adoption story will never be the "poster child" for convincing people to adopt, perseverance yes, promoting adoption, probably will scare more people away! Unless they get a look at Sofie Lu's sweet little face. That is worth it all.

So back to the emotional part. I had totally thought I would go into work on Thursday and shout to everyone that we finally found "her." I was pretty quiet though. I told a few people, showed them the new blog and shed a few tears. On my way home from work I started to evaluate why this was. Yes, Melissa, I had one of those drives home where you don't quite remember the drive home because your mind is off somewhere else! I realized that I am totally positive and have no doubts that Sofie Lu is our daughter, I am just waiting for the call that oops! this has all been a mistake and sorry, but you won't be going to China yet. I know where this emotion comes from, countless times in the adoption process where the rug has been pulled out from under our feet, and I know in time it too shall pass. I do have faith. We were all destined to be together. Jim feels the same too. We are just so afraid to put our hearts out there because they have been trampled on so many times. Don't get me wrong, I love this child already. From the moment my eyes looked at her picture I loved her more that anything and I would do anything to protect her and make her safe. My children mean the world to me and they are one of the sole reasons for my existence.....she is our daughter just as Ainsley is. It is unconditional. I don't think I will totally be at ease until we have our LOA and China says we can officially adopt her. I know that it will get easier every day that passes. I look at her picture and she is just as I have always pictured her in my mind.......our daughter.

Every night I say the "Waiting Child's Lullaby" (it is posted earlier in the blog, Nov 14). Tonight I am finally able to picture her face as I send her kisses in the wind. What an awesome feeling :)

Our new and second blog

OK I have done it. I am a techy genius!!!! All of our referral information that I wish to share along with PHOTOS are on our new blog. You will need the password to access it so you will have to email me at bonnie.ducharme@yahoo.com to get it. I don't feel comfortable publishing her information on the general web until nothing can go wrong. That will be in about 4 months. I will explain all that in another post when my fingers stop hurting from all the typing. I will now attempt to set up a link to our new blog on this blog........good luck.

In case I fail here it is http://onourwaytosofielu.tumblr.com I am also having problems accessing the new blog from my iPhone. I will work on the problem.

We are soooooooo happy :)

Sorry

Sorry about the last post. 4 hours staring at a computer trying to set up something when you have no idea what you are doing is realllllllly frustrating. I have it figured out though. I cannot post pictures or her information on our blog, it will be on a password protected blog. The adoption won't proceed until we have our LOA (letter of acceptance) from China. Until then it is provisional. You can email me at bonnie.ducharme@yahoo.com and I will send you the password.

The blog is http://onourwaytosofielu.tumblr.com

I haven't posted anything there yet but I will do it tonite. I promise. It has been a couple of crazy super emotional days. Looking at your child for the first time will do that to you :)

Good news

Monday evening we received a phone call with a referral. I can't post any details or photos right now. I am trying to set up another blog that is password protected so I can give out details and most importantly photos!!!!! I have been trying to set up the blog for 3 hours now and I am tired and kinda crabby. If anyone has any insight on how to do this.......I beg you for help :)

People are Awesome

I was in a foul, crabby mood today. The waiting game just gets harder and harder. You just don't want to get your hopes up for fear of the crash that will occur but you don't know how else to feel.

I was outside today putting up Christmas lights trying to get in the holiday spirit when my neighbor from across the street came over to visit. She told me that she always reads my blog (thank you, I am so glad I am not the only one who reads it) and she thought we could use something. She then gave me a hand knit prayer shawl, produced by her own two hands, that is gorgeous! I was speechless and overwhelmed! I hope she knows how much I needed that lift today and how much we will treasure her gift always and forever! Thank You from the bottom of my heart :)

The Next List

There has been one confirmed report that the next shared list will be released on Monday Nov 28 in the evening. The report did not come from my agency as I usually find out from other sources before they ever tell me. I will not find out anything official from my agency about the release until Monday morning as everything here is closed for the weekend....except for Target etc..!!!:)

Same process as last time, could get a call Monday anytime between 7 pm and 11 pm and then again on Thursday night.

I am not sure if I will stay up Monday night or if I will just go to bed with my phone???? I am not sure how I even feel this time around. The first list was sooo exciting and the second list was such an emotional crash that I am not quite sure how to feel about this one, the third list. I do know that we have done everything we could do to try to help our chances of finding our daughter. We will find each other when we are supposed to find each other no matter how hard we pray and hope......or maybe this is just my way of protecting my heart from being crushed again :)

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Happy Thanksgiving #2 to all those celebrating for the second time and Happy Thursday for all of you not celebrating. I am very thankful for my wonderful husband who puts up with all my crazy plans and ideas, my daughter who puts a smile on my face everyday, my family for all their wonderful support and love and my friends for always listening to me and caring. I am also very thankful for our youngest daughter who has yet to be made known to us! May she have a great day today and feel the love we send her way.

I am so blessed and so thankful for all that I have been given and the life that I am able to lead.

OK, now I need to get going....I have dinner to make, Christmas lights to put up and a bathroom ceiling to sand! Have a great day!!! :)

It Has Begun!

Bathroom Renovation 2011 (the budget episode) has begun. Today I sent a few emails to our adoption agency, put away fall jackets, made dinner, worked out and scraped the popcorn texture off of the bathroom ceiling. Yes, that is me being the general contractor. I hope I know what I am doing or the ceiling is going to blow the entire budget for the bathroom! I made a huge mess and it took me longer to clean it up than it took to scrap the texture off. Did I mention that this is the powder room on the main floor!!!!! FUN FUN FUN...stay tuned :)

Bathroom Reno- The BEFORE Pictures

Ok...here is the bathroom before. I haven't done any demolishing yet but I will post more as we progress.

Thinking.......

I have been trying to compose this post for a few weeks now and the only time I am able to organize my thoughts is when I am trying to fall asleep. Not really convenient. Warning...this is probably going to end up being a long post!

I don't know if it is the fact that the holidays are QUICKLY approaching, but I have been thinking a lot about the fact that our daughter is already living in an orphanage and her birth mother has already had to endure the agonizing decision to place her daughter for adoption. I had not thought that we would be spending another Christmas without our daughter, let alone that we still would not even have a picture of her. That is the hand that we have been given, so be it...we will continue to wait for her ever so patiently ( sort of patiently, as patient as I can be as those of you who know me can attest to).

My heart aches for her China Mother. We have the pain in our hearts of waiting for our child to enter our lives, she has the pain in her heart of loss, knowing she will never see her sweet child again, yet, she will suffer quietly and stoically, knowing that she is doing what she feels is best for her child and her future. This, to me, other that laying down your life for someone, is the ultimate selfless act.

As some of you may know, Jim is also adopted and grew up in a wonderful, loving family. Just before Ainsley was born, he had the opportunity to connect with his birth mother. It has been a fantastic, wonderful experience and probably not how most reunions progress. We have been very lucky to get to know both her and her family and we will probably always remain close to all of them.

She once visited us for a weekend with her daughter and grand daughter. Something she said just resonated with me and I have always remembered her words. In a conversation we were all having she made the statement that there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think of him, her child. She always believed that she had made the right decision for him, but, she always thought of him. As a mother, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. I feel fortunate that our lives have come full circle and that we have all been able to get to know each other.

I am also well aware that our daughter will probably never get to experience that, it rarely happens in Chinese adoptions. There is little and, most frequently, no information available regarding the children's lives prior to the orphanage. Finding birth families is more often that not an impossible task. There just simply are not any records available and you are usually not given any information other than how they were found. We will probably never be able to tell her birth mother that her daughter is happy and doing great and our daughter will never have the chance to ask why her mother made the decision of adoption.

Our daughter's birth mother will always have a special place in my heart, one mother to another. I will always feel honored that she gave us the opportunity to be parents to her child and I will never take that responsibility lightly just as I know that she did not make her decision lightly.

There is a book that I read to Ainsley and I would like to share a quote from it with you. The book is about a little girl adopted from China and the three names that she has been given.

"My first name was whispered to me by my first mother when I was born. It's someplace in my heart" "I make a beautiful star for the name I only heard once, the name before my remembering."

"My second name is from the land I was born in and said good-bye to." "At the orphanage I was given my second name."

"My third name is my ni hao, my hello, full of love. I am love arrived in this place, this family."- the name my family gave me.

-"Three Names Of Me" by Mary Cummings

Mandarin Chinese-lesson one

Here are some common words and phrases. The official language in China is Mandarin. Please excuse any mistakes, I don't actually know how to say any of these. I will first list the Pinyin(chinese word), then how to pronounce it, then the English translation. Here we go.

Ni Hao ( knee how) Good day

Xie-xie ni ( syeah-syeah nee) thank you

Zai jian ( dzai gee-en) goodbye

mei mei (may may) little sister

jie jie (da jie) big sister

ma ma (maa ma) mommy

ba ba (baa ba) daddy

:)

November is here

Yesterday the weather definitely took a turn in the colder direction. The winter jackets finally came out and fall appears to be over. The main sign that fall is over, the sunporch has been closed up for the season! It was a sad day. It is my most favorite room in the entire house, the room in my garden. I love sitting out there watching my beautiful flowers and weeds grow and cursing the rabbits for eating the beautiful flowers but not the weeds. I really can't complain, this is the longest that I have ever been able to sit in the porch. The dogs miss it too. It was the best "sunning room." Now they are wondering where the sun went?

This is also the time of year that I start Christmas cards, shopping, the Christmas photo albums and so on. I am having a hard time getting going, so, we have decided to renovate a bathroom instead! Always a great idea when you are in the middle of a stressful adoption and it has to be finished by Christmas. At least we picked the smallest bathroom to renovate. I will post photos as we go. Just an FYI, adoption is expensive, so this will be the bathroom reno done on an extreme budget. Here we come IKEA!!!!!

I finished making our Christmas card on Shutterfly yesterday and ordered it for a sweet 40 percent off and free shipping. See, there is an up side to a bad economy, as long as you have a job

:( Sadly, we did not do our usual photo shoot with my friend who is an awesome photographer so there will be no photo books this year Grandmas and Grandpas! It was very hard to try to schedule it between all our schedules and to be honest, I just wasn't really looking forward to it. Last year was so difficult. I sat through the whole photo shoot thinking that someone is missing from these pictures and it showed on my face. I could hardly smile. I just couldn't do it this year. Ainsley and I spent an afternoon in the backyard with the dogs and took some very nice pictures. I plan on having the biggest photo shoot ever once our whole family is together. The Christmas card was also hard to make. I waited as long as I could in hopes that I would have another little photo to add to Ainsley's. The dogs substituted this year as our other children :) 40 % off is too great of a deal to pass up!

Not much else is new. The bathroom reno will start this weekend.......maybe. OH yeah, I still have Christmas lights to put up and a couple of shrubs to cover up outside. Maybe it will start on Monday. How far away is Christmas????????????????

Touched My Heart

I read this at breakfast and it just touched my heart:

Kisses In The Wind (The Waiting Child's Lullabye)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.

You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are...what's taking us so long.

But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...

Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.

And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

---Pamela Durkota

Mondays

I awoke this morning at 7:00 am to the sounds of a six year, who normally sleeps until 8:00-8:30 am (thank you day light savings), stating " what day is it today? Is it Sunday or Monday?" "Monday" I reply. "I hate Mondays" states said six year old.

I am going to think of this Monday as a new beginning, a new day. The end of last week and the start of a brand new week. It helps that it is sunny and almost 50 degrees outside in November!

The last couple of weeks have been trying and very stressful. We have persevered through the shared list being released then not released then released on the 31 but not getting a call, the death of a family friend, and then I found a file for a 4 year old little girl on the special focus list the day after the shared list came out. We couldn't look at her file until after the Thursday night list as you cannot look at two files at the same time. Last Friday, we received her file and had it reviewed by an International Adoption doctor who was very concerned about her cognitive delay. We received an update on her this morning and although her medical needs are within our capabilities, she has some large cognitive issues. So this morning we had to decline her referral. That is three now that we have declined.

Monday is a new day....a new week........a new beginning. I like Mondays :)

The words from a 6 year old

Ainsley and I sat on the stairs this morning and had a talk about her sister. You see, Ainsley seems to think that she will be able to pick her up and help carry her around. She has no concept as to how big a 2-4 year old is and that they may not like being picked up and carted along. I showed her that her sister might be as tall as her shoulder. I was then informed that 2 year olds come up to her waist....and I got the "look", and then a mmmmmm from her. So I proceeded to explain to her think of all the fun you guys could have together, riding bikes, scooters and playing dolls. The comment back to me "she is going to be too big for the other bike we have." Trying not to laugh because that makes her angry when you do that, I explained that we could get a new bike for her. " oh, OK, and a helmet too!" says Ainsley. Yes I say, a helmet too. She then continues with " we need to get her some toys too because not all my toys are going to be "propriate" for her. It is not appropriate by the way, it is "propriate". Good luck changing her mind with that one, I have tried. This is so adorable from the little girl who has gone through every toy catalogue and circled the stuff for her, the toys for her sister and the toys that they can share....the propriate toys. :)

The end of November can't come quick enough.

Thinking of words

I been sitting here staring at the screen trying to think of what to say. I am drawing a blank. Tonight is the night that the referrals that were declined are returned back to the list and the agencies try to make more matches. Normally, I would be stressed out and going crazy and announcing it to everyone everywhere. I have nothing tonight. I am not expecting a match or anticipating one either. I am not even sad?

November is National Adoption Month. There are so many children out there who need a family, domestically and internationally. The trend, I fear, is moving away from international adoption. Many organizations are lobbing against adoption to another country and more toward the child remaining in their country of birth. I am all for that. Adoption is not the answer to the orphan crisis. No child should have to leave their homeland to find the love and acceptance of a family. This only exists in fantasy right now, yet some organizations advocate against adoption. These same organizations have yet to come up a plan or solution to assist these countries in keeping and caring for these children. And who continues to suffer the most through all the political BS....the children! Always the children suffer. I don't know what the solution is....I have no idea.

I fear the winds are changing in China. No one knows what is going on or what the CCCWA is thinking. They don't talk much. Something is changing though. I just pray that we are not too late again and that our daughter finds us and we find her. We need each other. I do know that we are in this for the long haul. I do not have the emotional stamina nor the desire to do more paperwork to change again and start all over. So, we will continue to have faith and perseverance.....and the occasional emotional breakdown.

I am going to bed soon. I will not be up waiting until 11:00 pm for the phone to ring. That just about killed me on Monday. I will sleep with my cell phone though.........just in case! Good luck to everyone tonight :)

My Halloween Gobblins

Anybody seen some pumpkin wranglers around here?
Shiloh the wonder horse..she ate the stuffed cowboy that was riding on her back!
Ainlsey the cowgirl. I was informed that "cowgirls only have lassos not guns, Mommy"

Halloween 2011 Ainlsey, Domino and Shiloh..............I love these guys. They make me smile :)

No news

Well, we didn't hear anything last night. No phone call, no referral, no nothing. It was the longest night of my life. We are doing OK. I am not sure what to think or feel so I am going with nothing right now. Not much else to say. I am going to try to post the pictures from Halloween.

Just got an update from our agency. Very few girls were added to the list last night. I am not holding out much hope for Thursday now as those are referrals from Monday that were not accepted. November here we come!!!!!!

HALLOWEEN

BOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Hope all the happy trick or treaters have a safe but fun day.

I am posting now as I know I won't have time later. I had a fitful sleep last night but that could have been all the chocolate I ate before I went to bed :( I don't have much else to say. Just very nervous and excited all at the same time. I pray that we find each other today :)

One more sleep

One more sleep to go! I am very excited, nervous and stressed out!

I did finish Ainsley's Halloween costume and Shiloh the dog has her horse costume on, getting ready for her photo shoot. She is a real happy doggie right now. I am getting the most pathetic look from her!

Hope we get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Doctor's appt in the morning, Ainsley's school party in the afternoon, trick or treating and handing out treats all while Jim has to work a 24 hour shift. Bring on Monday!!!!!!!!

THE LIST

It is official..........the shared list will be released late Monday night, Tuesday morning in China. I found out at work today and just lost it. I was so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pulled it together quickly though! We could get a call anytime between 8 pm and 11pm Monday night or as early as 6 am Tuesday morning. We then also have a chance to be matched again late Thursday evening when all the referrals that were refused go back to the list. EVERYONE say prayers, cross your fingers,toes, legs and whatever else you can cross. I hope we find our daughter :)

A Much Better Day

The "pity" party is over. Today I feel much more positive and confident. I don't know if it is the 52 degree sunny day or what, but it is working. No more self pity.......we will see how long that lasts for! I am thankful for everything we have and all we have been blessed with. NO, I didn't get into the stash of Halloween Candy today either.

After I finished my post last night I found a blog that was set up for parents who have adopted children from Ethiopia to help compile stories of adoptions from Ethiopia with ethical problems. I occasionally check the Ethiopia pages to catch up and see what is going on with adoptions in the country. We know people from Ethiopia and it has been a situation that touched my heart for many reasons. So many children need homes and so many will never find their forever families all because of the stupidity and greed of the few. Anyway, I could go on and on. The situation occurs because of a number of factors, birth families lie, unethical in country practices and agencies. I am sure most adoptions are legal and straightforward and most of the agencies are ethical and do their best. This could be debated forever. I continue to read the blog and all the families stories about how they found out that their child was given up without the mother's consent, the discovery of living birth parents when the adoptive families were told they were dead. I felt so awful for these families and the nightmare that they have fallen into.

Suddenly it was like a light was turned on and a ton on bricks came and hit me in the head. We were so close to maybe having this happen to our family. At the time that we withdrew from Ethiopia, we were probably fairly close to reaching the stage where we might have been matched with a child. At that point I realized that we are exactly where we need to be and in the program that we should be in. We just took the long windy way to get here. Life is funny and unpredictable......and also very precious :)

I have no idea

I couldn't think of a title. That's as good as it gets. The only other thing that comes to mind is 'waiting'.......been there done that! I feel like I am on a roller coaster. Some days up, some days down........some hours up...some down. Wow, that sound kinda depressing.

OK, new topic. Jim has been working straight days 7-3 M-F. The past couple of weeks he has come home with many stories of surgeries at work done on adoptive girls from China. This is rare. I can count on one hand the number of surgeries on adoptive kids that he has talked about. Why in the last couple of weeks has there been soooo many. I would love to be able to chalk it up to divinity or karma, but, I am too pessimistic to put much faith in that. Part of me is able to, the other part, not so much. I have been let down too much, yet I still have faith. I cling to that part that just wants to believe that this is a sign from above, but, if not, I don't think I can handle the emotional crash. I know that she is out there, I can feel her. We just need to find her. I do have faith!

I think I need to stop blogging after 9 pm. I get far too philosophical and emotional! OH well, I have been paper pregnant for about 2 years now!!!!!!

I will let you know Friday where we stand with the release of the shared list. Cross your fingers and say a few prayers.

Here's to awesome family and good friends! Thanks for supporting us :)

Clarification

Apparently I confused the heck out of my mother with my rambling last night. Sorry Mom! I will find out this coming Friday if the shared list will be released on Monday Oct 31 (boo!!!) We then have a possibility of a match late on the evening of the 31 or again on the Thursday Nov 3. I did start Ainsley's costume today. I just have the vest to finish and then I am done. Dad has to make the lasso. I don't know what I was thinking when I decided I can make my own pattern for a vest !!!!!! We will see how it turns out :)

No list today.....waiting

Seems most of my posts lately are centered around the word waiting. We do a lot of that. I spend a lot of time on a blog called chinaadopttalk.com connecting and chatting on line with others like me who wait. It is a community unlike no other where people just understand, no explanation necessary. Everyone has been through this process or is going through it. I am not saying that friends and family don't try to understand, they do, it is just if you haven't gone through this before it is impossible to explain it. Waiting stinks but it is a necessary thing that one must do to accomplish the end result.

No shared list tonight. Maybe on October 31 rst, I should know for sure by Friday, maybe. Nothing is ever really written in stone especially with China. They just don't like to give out any information before the event actually happens.....hence the waiting. Turns out I was right in the first place :) Take that people who say I am not good at math.

I have done a lot of bargaining with the big guy upstairs this week. I told him I just want a photo of our little pea pod and then I don't care how long the process takes after that just as long as I have a picture and I can give her a name. Remind me of that after we have a referral and I start freaking out over how long everything else is taking, it is quite the process by the way. Lots of paperwork! I envy those who haven't had a referral yet but have given their child a name. I don't want to call her my little pea pod or the second child anymore but I don't want to do anything to jeopardize the process either. Jim is much more practical. He says what if you name her and she doesn't look like the name. I told him, and it is not very PC, she is going have dark hair and eyes and be Chinese. That's enough for me. I do have a name picked out but I haven't dared utter it to a single soul other than Jim, and Ainsley too! She doesn't like it though so she has probably forgotten it so don't even try.

We are trying to get ready for Halloween. Costumes not done yet, tomorrow I promise. I will have to ban myself from the computer. Well, hopefully this Halloween will be like no other!!!!!!

Let's just call this one Friday

Well, math still stinks!!!! So after I used all my brain cells up figuring out the prior post......I was probably wrong. Go figure, that never happens to us. NO emails confirming the release of the list to any agency today so the shared list will probably not come out on Monday the 24. Two scenarios come to play. Monday Oct 31, again, or not at all!!! I am going for the 31, I can't even process the no list scenario at all yet. Adoption is such an inexact science, as soon as you think you have it figured out, someone changes the rules......kinda like raising children :)


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Math is hard

I am such a goof ball!!!!! So I have been stressing out because the next shared list comes out on Halloween......well it probably won't. I totally forgot to factor in that the list comes out the last Tuesday of the month in China which is a Monday night here. Well the last Tuesday of the month is October 25 which means the list should be out here on Monday the 24! None of this is set in stone and could change. I should know something concrete by the end of this week.
I found out through a chat room online and my stomach immediately did a flip flop and then the nerves and butterflies started again. Wow, how stuff changes in 48 hours. I will try to remain calm for the next week but I can't make any promises :)


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Waiting and waiting

Not much new to report! We wait and wait :) The week after the referrals came out brought some much needed relief...back to normal stuff, lunches, dinner, laundry and work! The last week has been kinda tough. It is like building anticipation and stress waiting for the end of the month to come. It is kinda like you are in limbo....your life goes back to the same old stuff but you are still stuck waiting. It is so hard to explain. I have read many peoples blogs and they say they blog to keep people informed but also as an emotional release. It is like baring a little piece of your soul everytime you post a message, you are letting people into a very private place but at the same time it is a release. You let a little bit of anguish go each time.
OK so enough of that. As you can tell it has been a week!
Jim just got back from Mexico again. He was there on his mission trip to do cleft lip/palate surgeries on some much deserving kids! They did 40 surgeries in two days and worked each day from 7am-10pm. He was tired but it is a trip that is well worth it. You just think of how many kids lives you have completely changed in two short days. These kids can't eat or speak properly or at all and in one surgery so much changes for them! They still have a long road ahead of them and probably more surgeries but they are given a real chance at a "normal" life. As Ainsley calls them, the kids with "ouwies" on their lips :)
Halloween is coming up quick. Ainsley wants to be a cowgirl and the dogs have their costumes all ready. Ainsley wanted them to be horses, so, Shiloh is a horse and Domino will be the sheriff. I will post pictures :)




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The Wait Continues

Every thursday after "the list" comes out, the referrals that are not accepted are released back to the list. Last thursday we received another call with a referral which, sadly, we had to decline as well. After a medical review we decided that her medical needs we beyond what we could handle. Declining two referrals in one week, while exciting, is also an emotionally draining thing to do. We are hanging in there and we know we made the right decision. The next list should come out Oct 31.......Halloween....and Jim works a 24 hour shift! I am going to have to do the next wait solo...should be interesting!


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Location:The wait continues

Day 1

We did get a referral last night but we had to decline it. She was much too young. We are doing great though. It just didn't feel right and I know we made the right decision. We know that our daughter is out there we just have to find each other! Next chance is this Thursday evening and then not again until the end of October.


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LID

We are official. We have a LID of 9-20-2011. The new referral list comes out this evening and we could get a call as late as 11:30 pm or we could not get a call at all! It is out of our hands now! I am not expecting a referral tonight but one can hope! Either way it feels amazing to finally be so close! Say a few prayers for us :)



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Location:LID

Say a little prayer

Say a little prayer and cross your fingers.....we need our LID (log in date)to come in this week. The next batch of referrals (how you are matched with a child) probably will come out next Monday. We need our LID to be included in this group. I am not expecting a referral....but you never know :) the new referrals are issued the last Monday of each month, so, think of us at that time. I will probably be going crazy and driving everyone around me nuts!


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DTC 9-16-2011

I logged into my email at work this morning just to check on the off chance that something happened. I was not holding up much hope as not much seems to go our way during this process.......well, we are moving forward. Our Dossier To Country date is official. Our paperwork left for China today. I actually started crying at work! I know, I do that all the time....not usually at work though. The next step is to receive a log in date from the CCAA, the agency responsible for adoptions in China. We should be all set by the time the next round of referrals comes out the end of September, beginning of October. I am not holding out much hope this round of referrals, but you never know!


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Back from Chicago

Good news today. Our Dossier is back from Chicago and has been authenticated by the Chinese Consulate. It now gets sent to the Chinese Government and then we will get a log in date. Dossiers are sent to China every Friday so cross your fingers that ours gets sent out in this batch otherwise we will have to wait another week!



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Awesome news today! Our Dossier is done being certified by the Secretary of State of Minnesota and was sent today to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago! Funny, Jim and I just came back from Chicago :) This process should take about 2 weeks then onto China! We will keep you posted.


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Dossier done

Well, where do I begin. We haven't been around much this summer and I have been super busy trying to get all of our dossier paperwork finished which is no small task considering I wasn't home for almost a month. Thank goodness for my lap top and a good file folder.

In July right before we left on vacation I discovered that I would have to get our birth certificates and marriage certificate not only authorized by the Canadian Foreign Affairs Dept but also by the Chinese Embassy in Ottawa as they are Canadian issued documents. Thanks to a fantastic process server that I hired and a lot of help while we were on vacation in Toronto, we were able to get that process completed rather quickly. We then moved on to being fingerprinted again by US Immigration while I continued to gather all the other necessary documents.

On this past Wednesday I sent in all the dossier documents, ten in all, to our agency and we also received our formal approval of our USCIS "application for determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Hague Convention Country" It was a fantastic day!

This posting has taken me about a week to finish. I have been struggling with if and how I should post the following information. I realize that someone who hasn't gone through this whole process doesn't really understand, nor could they, what it is like to wait "forever" for your child and the pain and anguish that goes along with having one process halted and having to start over again. I feel that the blog is a way to let people in on our process and to play a small part as an advocate for adoption. I haven't told too many people the following story as it is really hard to talk about, and apparently type about. I need a tissue! During the initial time when our Ethiopia adoption fell apart, Jim came home and said that there was a little girl from Haiti that was in the United States for surgery and was available for adoption. She had several medical issues and was being fostered by a family in Minnesota. We agonized over our decision, but, decided in the end for several reasons, which I won't go into at this time, that it wasn't right for our family. The foster family that she was with was fantastic but they stated that their calling was to help her but not adopt her. They believed that there was a family out there for her, it just wasn't us. I was showing my Mom and Dad the blog that the foster mother does on the same day that we received our immigration approval and our dossier was completed. Low and behold they found that they couldn't let the little girl go and have decided to adopt her and make her a permanent part of their family. Jim and I were elated. It was something I had known all along, that she belonged with them! Sometimes it pays to follow your heart. It gave the both of us such peace of mind knowing that we had made the right decision. I will stop ranting now and move on. The blog is a nice way to vent off some emotions without having to talk to anyone. I will keep you all updated as we move forward. We are off to the State Fair tomorrow!

Finally...something goes right!

I have finally dove head first into the dossier paperwork that I now have to assemble and have notarized. It is a daunting task and far more in depth than the one for Ethiopia :(

I was given some awesome news today. All of our notarized documents for our dossier have to be certified by the Secretary of the State they were issued in, Minnesota. Due to the Minnesota gov't shut down(who knew that an entire gov't could just go on vacation), all of our notarized documents would have to be sent to another state for certification all at an additional expense and much effort. We found out today that the Office of the Secretary of State for MN would remain open and operating during the government walk out. Yes, I am calling it a walk out!

Yeah, I can't tell you what a relief it is. It is a huge stress taken off my shoulders and it is something that has finally worked in our favor :)

Moving along

Yesterday, we received our notice that our I-800 A application has arrived at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. This is our application for determination of suitability to adopt a child internationally from a Hague Convention Country. Next step is a notice to go to an immigration office to be fingerprinted again and then, hopefully, a letter of acceptance. I think we have now been fingerprinted at least 6 or 7 times!

Our pre-approval paperwork was also reviewed by our agency and accepted. It will now be forwarded to China. Now we go back to waiting :)

Finally....a step forward!

Well, how long has it been since I last blogged.....a while! That is how long it has taken us to finish the homestudy. We finally got all the reference letters done and proof read etc. only to find out that our original Canadian background check was never completed last year as Ethiopia didn't require it. So, we have spent the last few weeks trying to complete that and getting the total run around from the agency in Canada. There had also been several agency personnel changes over the last month as well and we were starting to lose hope. The feeling of "this is starting to happen all over again" started creeping in. We were starting to wonder if this adoption was ever going to happen and if maybe someone was trying to send us a message.

All of a sudden everything changed. Our Canadian background check finally came through and our home study was done. That same day while in line checking out in Walmart, the social worker in charge of China's waiting children or children with special needs called me to talk about what kind of child we were willing to parent. WOW..what a change in one day.

Today I officially sent in our paperwork for our I-800 A which is the pre-approval for immigration and was the step that needed to be taken before any thing else could be done. I also sent in out pre-approval paperwork that gets forwarded to the agency in China. We are officially waiting for a daughter from China :)

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

Hope everyone has a great long weekend and to all the Canadians, hope last weekend was a good long weekend.

Well, we thought that our second home study was finished and completed until they informed us that China will now require 3 reference letters attached to the home study. The letters are very specific and have to be worded a certain way. So we are now waiting for the kind people who have agreed to furnish us with said letters to complete them. A huge thank you to the three people who have agreed to do this.

This whole process is certainly a lesson in patience! Just when you think you are ahead of the game and are ready to proceed, something else always comes up. Oh well!

Hopefully our home study will be ready in the next couple of weeks so I can go ahead and file our I-800 A with immigration. Nothing can proceed without our home study. This is such a different process that what we went through the first time around.

Ainsley will finish her first year of school in a week and a half. She has had a blast in kindergarten and really enjoys it.

I will let everyone know when our home study is finished and we take another step forward!

Bonnie, Jim and Ainsley

New Beginnings

Well, today was the day that we halted the process of adopting from Ethiopia. There has been little change or progress made through the negotiations between the US Government and the Ethiopian Government. Eventually things will change and the process will get better, but, not in time for us. The adoptions will, for now, continue to be processed at a reduction of 90 percent. It has been estimated that it will add 2-3 years onto the process. We have been waiting for 14 months already. Everything happens for a reason, right! We have now begun the process of changing our paperwork to adopt from China. Unfortunately, I have to start most of the paperwork all over again as they cannot use most of our documents from Ethiopia. I am getting really good at it by now though and it doesn't seem as daunting a task as the first time. Talk to me a month from now and I might have a different story. This has been a very difficult, trying and emotionally draining month. This is actually the first time I have been able to talk or type about all of the happenings without completely breaking down. Here's to new beginnings or, as Ainsley so perfectly put it today, without any prodding on my part, "so where is my sister coming from now." I will try to keep everyone at little more informed this time. Keep us in your thoughts and say a little prayer or two. As the Chinese proverb says "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break." New Beginnings :)

Hello again finally

Well, it has been a very long time since I last blogged. I haven't really had anything positive to say and found it very difficult to share.
The past few months have seen changes and new rules and new delays with the Ethiopian adoption process. There really wasn't anything else to report other than this is going to take longer and I was getting tired of saying that.
Last week we received some more disturbing news. The Ethiopian ministry that oversees all adoptions has decided to limit the number of adoptions processed daily from 50 to 5, a decrease of almost 90 per cent. The reason for this is to reduce instances of fraud and reduce case workload in an ministry that is understaffed. I am not sure what all the children who will remain in orphanages for extended periods of time or those that have no where to live are supposed to do. What a tragedy for all the children. While a change in rules to benefit and protect the children and remove any agency that participates in fraud is a good idea, limiting the work that reputable agencies are able to do is a tragedy.
This new plan would increase the wait time for families with referrals (matches with children) to approximately one year and for those who are still on the waiting list (us) there will be an untold delay if it even happens at all.
The last week has been very stressful and exhausting. The not knowing what is going to happen is the hardest thing to deal with. We have no idea what to do or where to go from here. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath our feet. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason, but, I am still looking for the reason! If everyone thought that this change would make a difference I would be able to accept the change, but, the children will be the ones who will suffer. How many of them will never know the love of a forever family and how many of them will not survive.
Through all this, we have been trying to hide all of this from Ainsley. She knows that we are upset but not why. I just don't know what to say to her especially as I really don't know that much at all either.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I will keep you up to date as I find out more!
Bonnie, Jim and Ainsley

Happy New Year

It has been a while since my last post. Christmas and New Years just seemed to fly by. So to answer every ones usual question, No we have not heard anything yet. Still waiting. We are hoping that based on the current time lines maybe we might know something this summer. That, however, is just a guess on my part.
Ainsley is still as patient as ever. She draws pictures with her and her sister in it and is still saving objects and toys for her.
January 7th was Ethiopian Christmas which is known as Genna. It is also the Christmas holiday celebrated by the Orthodox Christian faith. In honor of that, we celebrated with a traditional Ethiopian dinner. One of Jim's co workers helped out tremendously and provided a lot of the food. I also got out my new African cookbook and learned how to make several dishes. Our menu consisted of injera bread, honey bread, tibs wett (beef stew), doro wett(chicken stew), lentils, pomegranate rice and collard greens. The food was absolutely amazing. Injera is a sourdough flat bread and when you combine it with each dish the flavours are unlike anything I have ever tried before. Each recipe uses at least 5-6 different spices lending to an amazing taste and smell to the food. We had a blast. You don't use any utensils so you eat everything by picking it up with the injera bread and you only use your right hand.
A good time was had by all who attended.
I will try to post a little more frequently now. It is kinda hard because we don't really have any news yet!
Happy New Year to all!