UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, two posts in one day. Yes, I haven't done a single thing to day except get Ainsley on the school bus, eat and work out.
I have been online all day instead of doing what I am supposed to be doing...I don't remember what I am supposed to be doing today anyway! I mailed our I-800 to our agency today. I did get something done.
So I went to check my email for about the 100th time today and bing...up pops and email from the person at our agency who does the matching, not from my regular social worker. She is the one who I asked for an update from in November. Well, I think what has happened is that it wasn't my care package that caused the commotion at the orphanage, it was the fact that my ever efficient agency sent two representatives to the orphanage for an update a couple of weeks apart. One person didn't tell the other person what they were doing and I am the one that ended up with the abrupt email about "someone else had already been there asking tons of questions and the orphanage was miffed!!!" I had nothing to do with it.
If you are confused refer to the prior post about said agency....I am confused!
I swear, if they mess up this adoption I will go up one side of them and down the other........once we are home and safe and sound. Until then, I have to suck it up and swallow my pride and take another one for the team........I really want to call them and give them a "raspberry" over the phone. How grown up is that
:)
P.S. the update is on Sofie's blog...you all know why......I need my LOA so I can stop having two blogs!!

An Adoptees Perspective

I was doing my usual trolling of the chat rooms this morning and I came across this on someones blog. She has given permission for anyone to use it.
At the age of 14 Chinese orphans "age out." They are no longer available for adoption.....at the age of 14. It just breaks my heart. Xiaoyun was adopted just days before she was to turn 14. Her Mom was working on a presentation for church about how to help the orphans. This is Xiaoyun's response to that. It is totally unscripted and unrehearsed. Just one adoptees perspective......

http://youtu.be/SXSGhpVRiUY

I don't think any other words are needed :)

Finished

I was home sick from work this week. Just some kid virus that I picked up. Ainsley never gets them but I do instead. While I hate being home sick as it is boring and totally unproductive, it did give me the opportunity to get our I-800, I-864W and DS-230 for US Immigration all finished. Don't go getting all excited, we still don't have our LOA but I am now all ready when we finally do receive it.
Let me tell you, this set of paperwork makes all the other sets of paperwork look super easy to do. I don't know if it was the cold medication, but these three forms just about did me in. Of course, it doesn't help that they come with little or no instructions as to how to go about filling them out. I think I emailed my agency about 50 times this week. They actually replied back so I think they might be afraid of me...ha ha.
Well, my stack of papers all over the kitchen have now been reduced to a rather organized set of folders. Yes, the Hello Kitty was on purpose....Ainsley thought it was neat that all Sofie's adoption documents are being housed in a Hello Kitty file folder :)

Day 51

We have been waiting for our LOA for 51 days now. In some ways it has gone by quickly and in other ways it has been the longest 51 days of my life. I will try to explain it, but, I fear it is one of those things that you have to experience to fully understand. I cannot believe it has been 51+ days since we first saw Sofie's face and our lives were forever changed. That part seems like it happened just yesterday. Then there is "THE WAIT." That seems to drag on forever. I think the holidays helped pass the time as we were so busy. The closer you get to the "average" time for LOA wait and the longer you wait the worse the waiting gets. The average wait is 59 days for someone in our situation.........forever. I keep telling myself to be thankful that we haven't received our LOA yet as I still have so much to do. I haven't bought into that argument yet :)
To pass the time I have decided to start the next round of USCIS Immigration paperwork. There are 3 different forms you need to fill out but they don't get submitted until we have our LOA. Never hurts to start early. The I-800 (not to be confused with the I-800 A) is the petition to classify a Hague Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative, the I-864W is the Intending Immigrant's Affidavit of Support Exemption (it is an exemption from proving that Sofie is not going to be a financial burden on the country), and the last one is DS-230 which is the Application for Immigrant Visa and Alien Registration. The last one goes to the American Consulate in China. There are 13 pages in all to fill out. I have been sitting at the computer for 2 days as the instructions for filling out the forms are not really straight forward and neither are the forms themselves. This is what it looked like:

I am almost done. There is light at the end of the tunnel, unless I have completely messed up the paperwork and I have to start over! By the way, I had to fill out her new name on all the Immigration Paperwork so this is how it is going to look....Sofie Lu Jingjing Ducharme.  I think this may be the last little bit of paperwork other than the Chinese Visa Application. We were also fingerprinted again today so our DHS background check stuff is done again for the third time. I am getting really good at that one! Ok, back to waiting again.... :)

Happy CNY...and I will try to explain the problem now!

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone. This holiday is the most beloved and sacred of holidays to the Asian community. It is a time of family, which is such a wonderful thing to celebrate. Each day has a meaning, celebration and tradition and there is a certain 6 1/2 year old who is obsessed with each days tradition as it is the first thing that she asks in the morning followed closely by what is for lunch at school today and what are we doing at school today. Yes, she is a creature of habit and schedule. Each day must be methodically mapped out for her in detail. Traveling to China with her should be interesting!
The first day is a day of welcoming deities and honoring ancestors. Families reunite for this day. We called ours as everyone lives out of town. No meat is eaten as it is believed to ensure longevity. We had veggie lo mien noodles. I will have to let you know about the longevity part!
This is the Year of the Dragon, which is supposed to be a most fortunate time. Dragon years are good years. Indeed they are. This is the year we travel to China to meet Sofie and our family will be complete.

Ok, now on to the agency part. I feel like I am being held hostage. So go back to when we started our journey. From the first moment you pay your first large fee, they have you. To change agencies would cost a lot of money. The farther along in the process you are, the more it will cost you. None of the fees are refundable if you are unhappy about anything....no return policy!!!! We are at the point now where we  have no choice, they have the only access to our daughter. I can complain all I want, they still have the only access and the only route to my daughter. This process stinks!!!!!!!!
I have posted previously about the request for an update and how we were brushed off until I finally gave up and sent my own care package. Last week, at my request, I finally received some paperwork, not the paperwork I requested, but paperwork that needed to be filled out in order for us to proceed with the next step. It was some agency legal documents and a vaccination affidavit for US Immigration that needed to be filled out and notarized. The next day I arranged for Jim to get Ainsley off the bus so I could run around and get this stuff done after work and hand deliver it to the agency. I then sent an email the next day, Friday, to let them know that I dropped it off. Nothing.....no response. The next Wed evening I sent another email just to make sure that they received the paperwork. I finally heard back on Friday with a snarky email about here is the next set of paperwork and by the way, we sent a representative to Sofie's orphanage but they informed us that someone had already been there delivering a care package so they would not be giving out any further information at this time. The exact words she used was that someone was there asking lots of questions and that the orphanage was "miffed." I don't blame the orphanage. If there had been any type of communication on the part of our agency regarding the update I probably would not have sent the care package. I got nothing from them! I first asked for the update at the request of the international adoption Doctor way back at the end of November and they are finally getting around to it! I have also heard via the grapevine about paperwork mistakes that have resulted in delays in other adoptions. I will be keeping track and I will be emailing them a lot!! What do you do though? We need them to get to Sofie. I just would like to know at what point does it happen that they stop advocating for the family and the child and just start looking out for themselves. I feel like we are being held hostage. I have decided to swallow my pride and take one for the team! I don't like how they handle things but they will hear about it when I am home from China. No family that has to navigate the roller coaster ride of adoption should ever have to deal with some of the things that I have heard about. Our agency actually isn't that bad, yet. There are far worse ones out there........only time will tell :)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR'S EVE

 A very Happy Chinese New Year to everyone. The day before Chinese New Year is traditionally the day when you gather with loved ones for a family feast. We are having friends over for dinner and we aren't even ordering take out. We have tried to make almost everything ourselves except for the dumplings and the egg rolls. I need to perfect that skill. I figure if I can do an Ethiopian Christmas dinner last year that I can do a Chinese New Year dinner this year!
The new year starts tomorrow, Monday the 23. It is the year of the dragon. To new beginnings in the new year :)

Almost Chinese New Year

I will be brief tonight. Tomorrow is Chinese New Year's Eve. We are having a dinner party and I spent the day doing some cooking. Ainsley and I made Chinese Peanut Cookies today. They are the best cookies I have ever tasted. You start with ground up peanuts......need I say more!!!!
Here are the pictures!!!!!!!!

Yum Yum

I am very frustrated and a tad angry with our agency! It has been a weekend. I am too tired and upset to get into it tonight, but I will fill everyone in soon. Nothing major, just a total lack of communication on their part. More later..... :)

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year starts this year on Monday January 23. It is the year of the dragon. The entire country of China shuts down for one week starting next Monday. Families get together to celebrate and it is a holiday that has certain traditions for each day. We are having a Chinese New Year party on Sunday the 22 and Ainsley is soooo excited.
What it means for waiting parents in the adoptive community is, more waiting. Everything closes down including the CCCWA and the US Consulate. Nothing at all is processed for a week not even appointment dates at the US Consulate. If we don't get our LOA this week (it is a long shot) we will not hear anything until February. I have been having a hard time with the wait this week. I think this is the first time since we received our PA that I have allowed myself to start hoping that our LOA will come. The fact that nothing gets done for a week is hard to process.
Today was day 42 of the wait for LOA. There are some statistics that some wonderful people on Rumor Queen (chinaadopttalk.com) have put together. If you are LID before LOI ( consult the chart RT side of blog) with 61-120 days between the two, the average wait for LOA is 59 days, the shortest wait is 5 days and the longest wait is 104 days. We are getting close to the average and that means almost nothing. It will take as long as it takes.
I will post Chinese New Year information as the new year week progresses. It is fun to learn about a new culture and it's traditions :)

Finished.......finally!!!

I have been unplugged from the Internet for a few days. It is amazing what you can accomplish when you are not cruising the adoption chat rooms all day long!!! We finally finished the main floor bathroom renovation, and by we I mean Jim and I did the whole thing ourselves...again.  All that is needed are the little finishing touches but it has walls, a floor, a ceiling, toilet and sink....all the necessities. We didn't end up killing each other or getting divorced during the renovation either. We have done most of the house renovations ourselves so we figure one day we are going to get in over our heads and this will be the job that does us in. We have tiled, put in a hard wood floor, done wood trim all over the house, painted, plumbed, did electrical, landscaped the entire yard, planted trees, put a deck and pergola on the back of the house and a porch on the front of the house. So far so good!!! We even managed to stay on budget, at least until the wallpaper came along. That kinda blew us out of the water. I absolutely love, love, love the bathroom and the pictures don't really do it justice. I just want to put a chair in there and go read a book. It is such a grown up bathroom that is soon to be overrun by kids!
The before picture:

And after:

And the ceiling:

I was laying on the floor when I took this :)

What did we do this week?

Well....we filled out a whole bunch more paperwork for the adoption. Nothing exciting, just legal stuff that says if something goes wrong, the agency is totally not responsible for anything.
Monday I put away all the inside Christmas decor and Tuesday I put away all the outside Christmas decor in a sweatshirt in 50 degree weather???? I also painted all the bathroom trim molding. Yes, remember the bathroom is not done yet. Our wallpaper arrived 3 days after Christmas! Not a good time to renovate.
TODAY...we hung said wallpaper. Jim and I were so stressed out about trying to hang $400 worth of wallpaper that we decided to start the endeavor with a beer...CHEERS! It turned out awesome, looks good, except for couple of bubbles that are driving me nuts, and I am never doing that again!!!!!!
Without further ado, the wallpaper......not the bathroom. We still don't have a sink or any finishing touches. Just a toilet, toilet paper and wallpaper!

Faux Ostrich Skin!!!! I really want a purse and a pair of boots in it :)

Fingerprints

NO, neither of us were arrested!!!
We have both been fingerprinted a lot during our adult life and none of it was for legal issues. You see, we are both Canadians living in the United States. Our first fingerprinting was in Florida for our Green Card,which was pink in color, in 1994. We then managed to not get fingerprinted again until 12 years later when our "Green Card" was up for renewal. No problem, took care of that! It was actually really easy cause now it is all electronic digital prints so no more ink,yeah!!
Along comes the need, longing and desire to adopt, along with, apparently, the need to be fingerprinted more times than I can keep track of. I will try though just to help out the story.
When we decided that a domestic adoption wasn't going to work for us ( long story, earlier post, not going through it again :) ), we decided to adopt internationally. Well, turns out we needed to be US citizens to do that. Our daughter was born here, we have no intention of living somewhere else so it seemed like a good idea. Fingerprinting #3....along with the citizenship test which we both aced and beat everyone at work on the quizzes!!! Ok we are all set now...NO!! Minnesota requires that all potential adoptive parents undergo an Adam Walsh Background search....you guessed it, another set of fingerprints, but, these ones were the old fashioned kind with the ink again. Didn't matter that we had just been fingerprinted by the FBI. Ok so that is #4. Moving on to USCIS I 600 application to adopt an orphan from a non Hague country. You guessed it right again, fingerprinting #5. No the USCIS and the FBI do not share fingerprints!!!!!! Ok so we are done now with the fingerprints, right? Why would anyone need another copy of our fingerprints. NOT QUITE!
2010, need to do another Adam Walsh background check, no fingerprints, just money this time.
2011, we moved onto the China adoption program and yes, you got it right, fingerprints again for the I 800-A USCIS immigration stuff. Same as the I 600 just for a Hague country. OK, so I lost count, I think we are at fingerprinting #6.
In December 2011, we received the referral of our precious little Sofie Lu Jing jing. The thought that we would have to be fingerprinted again never even crossed my mind. I was wrong. This week I received paperwork from our agency that we needed to have another Adam Walsh background check done, but, they changed the rules last August. Not only do we pay another fee, you guessed it, FINGERPRINTS AGAIN!! Wow you guys are smart!!! So that would be #7, unless my math is off.
I can never have a career as a criminal as, I think, by now, I must be in every fingerprint data base that exists. Oh yeah, the upcoming fingerprints are the old fashioned ones again with all the messy ink......I can hardly wait :)

What an amazing Jiejie

Ainsley is already practicing at becoming a very good jiejie (older sister). I was at Target with her today and she suddenly stopped and looked very sad. I asked her what was wrong and she stated "You know Mommy, even though I haven't met my sister, I really love her. I mean I really love her already." She then decided that we needed to get some things for Sofie. She picked out everything all on her own and not once did she ask for or even look at anything for herself. It was the most selfless, kind, wonderful thing I have witnessed. It was totally spontaneous and something she did all by herself. We just went there to get toothpaste and happened to walk by the little girls department :)

Can't think of a title

I am having writers block......cause I am toooooooo giddy, happy and completely in love with that little face. I cannot even explain to you the feeling I had and have when I look at her new pictures. I will have to compare it to when the Doctor first hands you your baby after you deliver them.......and then they take them away and all you have is that one image burned into your brain. It is an amazing yet still very difficult thing. All we have right now are snapshots of her life. She is growing up without us yet all I have to do is take one look at that little face and I know all is well. If she can wait for us, then we can wait for her.
I cannot believe how much she has grown. I think the layers of clothes help. For those of you who don't know, they REALLY bundle the kids up when it is cold out or when it is not cold out. If you look at the pictures there are palm trees in the background!
Ainsley has been super excited about the new pictures. She made a boat for Sofie today at daycare and she told me that she was going to pretend that Sofie made it. How cute is that. She tells absolutely anyone who will listen about her sister in China whether they want to listen or not.
So, everyone start praying that we receive our LOA ( check the reference chart near the bottom RT) soon so I can stop waiting because I really am not good at it and I am not known for my patience :)

WOW

I woke up this morning and checked my email immediately. Nothing. I then left for work in a sad, dejected mood. I didn't want to be at work, I just wanted to go hug Ainsley. I had a chance to check my email again a few hours later and there it was....a picture of our daughter, Sofie. Not just one picture but 5. I took one look at that face and I had the same feeling that I had before.....she is our daughter! I might I add, she is tooooooo cute and adorable. I will post more tomorrow as I need to head off to bed. Gotta work in the morning. Photos are on the other blog :)

Nothing yet

No update from anyone yet. Nothing. I am feeling sad, angry and upset. We are taking Ainsley and my nephew bowling this afternoon so maybe that will lift my spirits.

No update yet

No update or new pictures on Sofie yet. I was so hoping that we would get something today, the first day of the New Year! How perfect would that have been. I think the mind sometimes plays out a soap opera in your head. It dreams and pictures how things could be and plays out scenarios and everything happens at the most perfect time and it is all wonderful and rosy. Life doesn't work that way. Things happen in good time when they are supposed to happen and we have little or no control over it.
I need to turn off the ever running soap opera in my head :)

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to everyone!!!!!!!! May this year give you health, happiness and joy!

It hard to believe that this is the year that we will travel to China, this is the year we will meet Sofie, this is the year Ainsley will meet her sister and us, our daughter, and this is the year our family will become whole and complete! It has been such a long, hard journey, that it is hard to believe that our journey is almost over, yet it is just beginning. To new beginnings!!!! Cheers!

We had a nice evening. Jim had to work a 24 hour shift but we celebrated with our friends and my Mom and Dad. They stayed up until midnight MN time just so that I wouldn't be alone on New Year's Eve. My parents are wonderful! Happy New Year :)

P.S. We finally got snow tonight. Not a lot. Just enough to make it magical!