Family Day....also known as Gotcha Day

I figured that I should finally get around to writing down my thoughts about the day we met Sofie before I forget everything. There are several reasons why I blog.....it is a good way for me to work through my thoughts and feelings, it is a record of out daughter's adoption that I will be able to show her when she is older and it is a way to give back, to help those still in the adoption process the way others have helped me.

In preparation for our "Gotcha Day" we have gone to many classes pertaining to what to expect as well as courses on how to aid in attachment and bonding with your child. I have read books, other people's blogs and their experiences and thought I was ready, not totally prepared but ready. Nothing prepared us for what we saw. I had seen other pictures of children who were emotionally and physically shut down, but, nothing prepares you for seeing your own child like that. I thought when I first saw Sofie that I would crumple into a heap of tears! I didn't shed a single one. I was in shock. It broke my heart to see the child I loved experiencing so much pain and fear that she was almost catatonic. She could barely sit up by herself, couldn't hold her arm up or bring a lollipop up to her mouth. We weren't even sure if she could walk by herself. Her muscle tone was horrible and she was even tinier that I had imagined. I think she was carried everywhere and hardly walked at all. Jim was in shock also. The day we met Sofie she looked like a one year old baby. I took one look at Jim and told him it would be OK, she was just shut down and everything would be OK. He turned to me with tears in his eyes and said " she needs us. No matter what happens she is our daughter and she needs us." It was the biggest leap of faith we have ever taken, also, the best one :)

We tried interacting with her with the toys we brought, the photo album of our family, lollipops and snacks........nothing! Eventually we were able to get her to start walking with us. She would walk up and down the hall with all three of us. She was very wobbly on her feet and we were both very concerned. We both still felt that no matter what the future holds, Sofie is our daughter and we will do whatever it takes and whatever needs to be done to help her.

Writing this post is very difficult but it is something I need to do both for Sofie and for myself. As I write this, all the tears I thought I would shed on Gotcha Day are streaming down my face. This little girl is so amazing, such a fighter. She is small because eating is something that takes a long time for her because her palate still needs to be fixed. Time to eat is not something you are given in an orphanage when there are so many mouths to feed. She was loved and cared for there, I am sure of that as I have seen it with my own two eyes. The day we met Sofie, I looked at her in amazement and wondered what would have happened to her if we had not come along. I later wondered what will happen to all the kids I met at her orphanage who called out her name and said goodbye to her. I wondered what will happen to all the children we had to leave behind there.

Within eight hours of Sofie joining our family, we got the first real Sofie smile. It lite up the room like a lightbulb!!! It was followed closely by a bunch of giggles and then she had to clean up some of the candy wrappers that were on the floor. She is a neat freak :) Her shell was slowly melting away. The key was tickling Ainsley. Ainsley has been wonderful in showing Sofie what to do and what a family is like.

She still has a hard time in public places where there are lots of people. She now gets really quiet and then starts rocking back and forth. She is an amazing little girl though! The girl who looked like baby and could barely walk now refuses to be carried around and tries to walk absolutely everywhere. She is looking more and more like a toddler every day and she is super smart and already understands some of what we are saying to her. She has a long road ahead of her, but I cannot wait to get her home with us!

We are looking at a few more surgeries than we initially thought. In addition to her palate surgery, we are probably also looking at a lip revision and possible a nose redo. Occupational therapy may also be called for to help improve her coordination. She has a small umbilical hernia, which, is very similar to Ainsley's hernia which we just had repaired.

Today we had our US Consulate appointment which was the last official step in the process. Tomorrow we get her US Visa and we leave for home on Thursday. I was dreading this morning! Another big building with lots of people.....another big meltdown imminent. Sofie totally wowed me today. She walked in the building all by herself and rode all the escalators all by herself and in true Sofie fashion, had a huge poop just as we were waiting to go through security. Once she was cleaned up, she flirted with everyone waiting with us and even waved at all the ladies behind the glass counters. She did fantastic :)

So, for all those waiting to travel still, you may never be totally prepared for "gotcha day", just keep the faith and remember.....there is a red thread that connects all those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. It may stretch or tangle but it will never break........destiny has brought us together, forever!