Surgery......again :)

Tomorrow is Sofie's sphincter pharyngoplasty to correct her Velopharyngeal Insuffiency. Say that fast 3 times :)

This is her fourth trip to the OR in the last 15 months. This is probably the hardest one. I don't know if it is because she is much more aware of what is going on now or if it is just Mama jitters. She was very strange at her pre op appointment last week. Very cautious and not her usual lively self. She was very much aware that something was up and this was very familiar to what she did last month. Nothing gets by this kid. Jim sat her down and had a talk with her this morning about what was going to happen tomorrow. She nodded her head and then went on her way.

All her other surgeries have been the typical ones that all cleft kiddos go through. This one is slightly different in that not all cleft kids have to have this surgery. The other surgeries were pretty routine. Fix the lip, palate, hernia and teeth and away you go to speech therapy. Of course, we made a pit stop in audiology but I digress. This one is stressing me out. So much is riding on this surgery. How she will talk and be able to pronounce words and consonants. To me at least, this one is major. Lots riding on it. Of course our surgeon is wonderful and I totally trust him. He even told me that this surgery is totally adjustable and tiny modifications can be made at any time, which, is another surgery at another time! Not what I needed to hear, but necessary.

It is 11:50 pm and I need to go to bed. I think I am afraid to lay down with my thoughts. I really don't want to do this again, but, I know I have to. Sofie is so much tougher than I am. I wish I could do this one for her and spare her the pain again :)