It has been a while......

I look at my blog frequently. I ponder over my ticker that shows where all the people who look at my blog are from. I feel like I should write something so they all have something new to read, yet, nothing comes out. I go to sleep instead.
It has been a fun, amazing, long, short, easy, difficult month :)

So much has gone on, lots of which I cannot talk about here. We have had health issues in our extended family, back to school stressors and a toddler who is pushing her boundaries to the max. We have also had amazing family times, new experiences and lots of joy. Life is like a roller coaster...up and down, up and down.
Ainsley has always gotten stressed out over the end of the school year and the beginning of the school year. She is not a fan of change no matter what form it comes in. She never has liked it and never will. I love the joy in both Ainsley's and Sofie's eyes when the school bus arrives at the end of the day and Ainsley jumps off and runs into the yard. Sofie is always jumping up and down waving and Ainsley picks her sister up and gives her a big hug. They truly love each other to the core. It is an amazing thing to watch.
Sofie is trying so hard to speak and I am trying so hard to understand her. She is doing fine with it, I am not! It is getting frustrating for me not being able to understand most of what Sofie says. It would be different if she hardly spoke at all, instead,  she has these big long speeches that she gives and she just looks intently into your eyes as just to make sure that you are focused and are listening to her. I have no idea what she is saying. It makes me sad. I so desperately want to know what is going on inside that sweet little head. When I talk to people about it, I always seem to get the same response, "she will pick it up quickly, just have some patience." I know that she will pick it up quickly :) She is one smart little girl and I have no doubt that she will more than overcome any obstacle or difficulty that life may through her way. I just feel like I am still missing out on part of her life. I missed the first 2 1/2 years of her existence and I feel sad that I don't know what she is thinking or trying to say to me. I am just grateful that it doesn't seem to bug her. It is hard to explain why this bothers me so much.

So, it has taken me over a week just to get this blog post out. So much happens over a week. I went back to work and I went out of town with the girls for an overnight at a vineyard. It was the first time Sofie woke up in the morning and I wasn't there and the first time that I wasn't around during the night. She had a great time with Daddy and her sister. She is much more anxious now and watches my every move just to see where I am going. She came around the corner today and a HUGE smile crossed her face as if to say "you are still here, awesome!!!!" It melted my heart. I have also spoken to a friend about my sadness over the language barrier. She said not to stress over it too much. Just treat it more like a game that Sofie and I are playing. It has really helped.

I am finding that it is so much harder to put things into words now than it was before. Maybe it is due to  a lack of time, maybe there is just so much more going on and I am finding it difficult to process it all.

I will have to continue this blog post tomorrow. Sleep is calling me after a long weekend of too much wine and too little sleep :) Until tomorrow........................

.............................it is tomorrow!! We are heading back into a period of multiple doctor's appointments again. Sofie has had a break for about a month now so it has been nice. Sofie does great at doctor's appointments, Mommy stresses about them :) Tomorrow is a dermatology appointment, next Tuesday is the two hour eyes dilated eye doctor appointment ( should be fun and I am sure it will require  whole blog post all it's own) and next Wednesday is the pre op appointment for her ABR hearing test and dental surgery that will take place on October 11. I cannot lie, I am worried about the ABR and dental. It is not only stressful knowing that she is prone to pneumonia post operatively, but I am worried about the ABR. Part of me is still hoping that the results come out better than what audiology is expecting and the rest of me is worried that the results will come out worse. It is out of my control so I am just trying to do one day at a time :)

Not much else is going on, just dance classes, gymnastics, school, doctors appointments and swimming :) I will now post some pictures as I feel that they sum things up much better than I can!!!

First Day of School

Sofie's first swimming lesson....Ainsley was so concerned about her :)

Sisters having fun

Our beautiful Ainsley

What have you got on your face!!!!!!

I so love her eyes and the freckles

I am not happy!

OK now I am happy!!!!!!!

I love this sweet little face :)

We have done a lot this month. Don't misunderstand by the above ramblings, it has been a month full of so much joy also. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have the family I have and to be loved by two such wonderful little girls and then to share it all with my best friend is almost too much!!! I watch the two of them play together and think what an amazing privilege it is to be able to watch the bond between Ainsley and Sofie being formed. It is a unique privilege to watch them discover what it means to be a sister at the age their age. I think it must be a much different process than that between an older sibling and an infant. I have no experience at that though so it is just a guess.
Thanks for listening to all my ramblings. It felt good to get some things off my chest!!!
You guys are great :)