A great read!!!

I am posting a link to a blog and I hope that you will all read it. It sums up what it is like to be a transracially adopted family.  I know that people are going to say that people stare at us because Sofie is just so darn cute. Yes, there is a lot of that, there is also a lot of the other kinds of stares......and I can tell the difference between the two. Most people don't realize what they are doing, they do it in a kind manner so they think it is OK. What they forget is that there is a child there too. That child can hear and see and totally knows when she is being stared at. This child will get older and will just want to fit in and be a normal kid and not be stared at because she doesn't look like her Mom and Dad and big sister. One day it will matter to that child that she gets stared at and she may not like it. So please read on. I hope that maybe I can educate just one person on what is OK and what is not OK to say while you are around us. I totally understand that people aren't being malicious, I just want to make you aware :)

Please read.....nohandbutours.com


I had some instances in the past that mirror what the author wrote about.  Mostly it was people stating that we have "saved" Sofie or how lucky she is that she was adopted by us. I am still trying to come up with a good answer to both of those comments. They frost my apples!!!! Most of you will have no idea what I am talking about. Those of you who have adopted will. She is not lucky and we did not save her. She has given more to us that we could ever give to her and she has fought harder to live and lost more than we will ever know. I am not a saint....I am just a Mom.

The stares were never more apparent than this weekend at a BB-Q we attended. It is the first time I felt that we were being stared at and not because Sofie is so cute. There is a difference between the two types of stares and if I can tell the difference so can Sofie and Ainsley. It was uncomfortable and awkward and I had no idea how to respond. I have probably had stares like it before, but, I was so busy chasing around a three year old that it is easy to ignore them. No ignoring these ones, we were sitting beside the line to the buffet :) We were totally on display. I am not angry. I knew what we were getting into by adopting and by adopting transracially. I knew that it is sometimes like living in a fishbowl. You are always on display and noticed. I just hope that maybe by sharing this I can help just one person realize that your kindly stare will have an effect on my child. I just hope that I can educate just one person on how to talk to us or what to say or do. Thanks again for listening :)