Tuesday May 15, 2012
In the eyes of the People's Republic of China, we are Lu Jing Jing's legal guardians and parents. Her name is now officially Sofie Lu Jingjing Ducharme. Toady we went back to the Civil Affairs office and completed the adoption paperwork and applied for her Chinese passport.
After we were done at the civil affairs office, we came back to the hotel for lunch and a nap. Sofie is an awesome sleeper!!! At nap time and bedtime we bring her up on our bed, she points to her mini crib and we put her in it and she goes to sleep. I have to lay beside her until she is asleep though. We call her my little shadow! Wherever Mommy goes Sofie is following right behind her :) She is a happy, giggly little girl who has already figured out that Jim is messy and she has chastised him on several occasions and then put his things away! She is fascinated with Ainsley,but, she won't yet let Ainsley cuddle with her. Ainsley is doing awesome with her sister and she just adores Sofie. I think the hard part for her right now is that Sofie won't play much with her or snuggle with her yet. Sofie watches every move that Ainsley makes and she is the first thing that Sofie looks for in the morning.
She is getting along great with Jim and will let him feed her and do stuff for her. She likes to tickle him and give him a high five. She doesn't have a problem with me leaving the room just as long as I come back quickly. If I don't, she comes looking for me!
Sofie's entire personality totally changes the second we walk out the hotel doors. She completely "shuts down" and the smiles and the giggles disappear. She can't even lift her hand to her mouth to eat a cracker. She is fine in the lobby and restaurant but not outside. I know that it will pass with time,but, it just breaks my heart! It is like she is almost catatonic or in a trance.
Wednesday May 16, 2012
Today we visited the orphanage and Sofie's " finding spot", the place were someone left her to be found so she could get the help she needed. I will not disclose the location as this information is something that belongs solely to Sofie and it is her right to choose who she discloses it to when she is older. It is not fair that the whole world knows about it before she does. Each adoptive family chooses to deal with this information in their own way and do what works best for their family....this is what we have chosen to do :)
The orphanage visit.....wow! I don't even know where to begin or how to explain it. It was the hardest, most difficult emotionally, best, most awesome thing we have ever done!! How's that :) I was a mess before we even left the hotel. I forgot my wedding ring, watch and list of questions for her nanny. It was a difficult thing to do especially for Sofie, but, it provided her with closure and a chance to say goodbye and for us to say thank you! It is as if they know when they leave the orphanage with you that they are never going back and they will be with you forever!! It gave us and Ainsley a chance to see where Sofie grew up and who looked after her.
Sofie did really well at the visit. She was her usual quiet self but she did manage a few smiles for the nannies. All the nannies want to pick her up and love on her. As a Mom, that is a super hard thing to do....hand your child over to their previous caregiver after they have only been with you for two days. I stayed very close to her the whole time so she would know that I was still there. After the fourth nanny picked her up, she had had enough. She reared back started screaming and reached both arms out for me, her Mommy. She wouldn't leave my arms for the rest of the visit and wouldn't go to anyone else. At one point, they took us into the sleeping area so we could see her crib. I took one step into the room and Sofie let out a scream like I had never heard before!!!! I quickly left the room with her and Jim and Ainsley toured her bedroom. They took lots of pictures so I will be able to look at them and see where she slept.
The orphanage was an amazing place. While it is still an orphanage, it is full of love and happy children. The nannies truly love and adore the children. We visited a foster program where a couple who are married are given a apartment on the orphanage grounds and they foster 4-5 children. They are truly a family. There are family photos on the walls and Mom stays home to look after the kids while Dad leaves to go to work during the day. The orphanage grounds are beautiful, well maintained and there are several playgrounds that they children use when they play outside. It is a wonderful place :)
They also gave us a diary of her life in the orphanage since the time she entered until the day she left. It is in Chinese so I have no idea what is says but it is complete with pictures of her throughout her life so far. I have baby pictures of her!!!!! You have no idea what a gift this is. Usually, you are given very little information about your child other than what they presently do and you hardly ever get pictures of them as a baby. She has a history, a background and not blank page in the family album......it is an amazing gift that they have given to her. By they, I mean Half the Sky Foundation. They are an American charity, started by adoptive parents, that works in some Chinese orphanages. Hefei Children's Welfare Institute was the first orphanage that they were allowed in to. They teach the nannies and the orphanage staff what children need to develop and grow into healthy children. They do some amazing work!!!
Tomorrow, our guide is taking us to an indoor children's play area and not to the Temple that we were supposed to go see. She said that we saw enough temples in Beijing and the kids need to play together!!! I love Penny, our guide. She has been awesome!!!
I want to close by telling everyone what an amazing Jie Jie (big sister) Ainsley has been. This kid has been dragged across an ocean on a plane and walked throughout Beijing, hiked up the Great Wall in a rain storm, had her picture taken and her head rubbed by many strangers, eaten strange food and met a new sister who demands a lot of attention from her Mommy and Daddy. She has been nothing short of wonderful. She tries to do whatever she can to help her sister and tells both of us over and over how much she loves her sister. I am SO GLAD that we brought her with us. She will forever remember this trip, this culture and the country where her sister came from :)
I am glad to hear she is bonding well with all of you! I teared up when you wrote about Ainsley--such a strong little girl and good big sister!
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear you thought good things about her orphanage as we did too and I think people thought we were just being nice but it really was a nice environment.