I am back :)

I have been offline for a while. I just haven't had the energy and I had no idea what to say. Actually I didn't have the strength to say anything....it upset me too much.
Just after the joyous news of our LOA and the aftermath of the paperwork mix up, which is fixed now by the way, we found out that my Father's prostate cancer has returned. We had some idea that something was up but we weren't sure if it was the prostate cancer or if his colon cancer had returned. Colon would have been worse, but,  the prostate cancer suddenly stopped responding to the hormone therapy he has been on. Last Friday he started a new drug treatment regimen. Hopefully this will work as the treatment options get less and less if it doesn't work. His new oncologist told him that it is an aggressive cancer that they need to get under control right away. We are trying to stay positive and up beat....somedays that is harder than other days.
I think that CANCER is probably one of the most vile words that someone can utter to you. It strikes fear and panic in the heart of anyone who hears it. The first time he was diagnosed with cancer I was 8 months pregnant with Ainsley. The irony is not lost on me.
I don't know how I am doing with all of this. I have not the strength yet to explore my feelings or figure out how I am dealing with everything. I am afraid if I do I might not be able to stop crying. This isn't about me anyway, this is about my Dad and my Mom. It is the two of them that I am worried and concerned about. Being 6 hours away from them doesn't help either.
I love my parents more than anything and I would do anything for them. My Dad is my hero. He has taught me so much about how to be a good person and how to treat others and he has done it all by example. Always treat others as you would want to be treated, don't lie, stay true to your word, lead by example, always try your best, work hard, have compassion for others, GO TO SCHOOL, finish what you start and I could go on and on. He is also the type of person who would give you the shirt off his back no questions asked. He would do just about anything for anyone whether they are family, good friend, acquaintance or stranger. When I was growing up, all my friends were always welcomed in our house at any time, even if they all showed up together, and even for dinner unannounced. That is just the kind of people my parents are. I have so many stories to tell....I could just go on and on. I admire him and I always have.
One of the most amazing things I love about him is how much his grandchildren mean to him. They are the light of his life and it shows on his face. He adores them. He sent Ainsley a single red rose in the hospital when she was born. He couldn't be here because of the colon cancer and the chemotherapy.  I have picture of both Ainsley and Sofie on our fridge, it makes me happy when I am sad. When my parents were here at Christmas, my Dad would walk into the kitchen and just stop and look at the pictures, big grin on his face, and utter "she is so cute." It just melted my heart. He did it almost even time he entered the kitchen and I don't even know if he realized that he was doing it.
I just want my Dad, and the world to know how much I love him and that I am here for him always, whatever he needs, just as he has always been here for us.
I really need to get to China and bring our daughter, sister and granddaughter home.....as soon as possible please :)