Thursday, November 8, 2012
Day 8
Today I am thankful for Sofie's nanny in China. She did a wonderful job looking after Sofie. I will be eternally grateful to her for teaching Sofie how to trust and love. It makes everything else after they are adopted, a little bit easier. Not easy, just easier. Once they learn how to trust and love, it is like the pathway has been formed and they can then bond to others more easily. We are eternally grateful to her :)
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Day 7
Today I am thankful for adoption tax credit. Because of this, many families are able to adopt and many more kids find their forever families. I am hoping that both parties in our government can see past all the numbers and make the adoption tax credit permanent.....for the kids :)
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Day 6
Today I am thankful for all of the wonderful friends that I have made along this journey, most of whom, I have never met. I have a group of friends that I have made online who have held my virtual hand and sent me virtual hugs at every up and down that we have experienced. There support has been amazing. They all just get it, without an explanation, because they have been there and done that. They don't need to ask why or how.
I also have some awesome friends who have held my hand, listened to my whining, wiped my tears and given supportive hugs. They have also shared with us the great joy of looking at our daughter's picture for the first time. You all know who you are.
To both kinds of friends.....I say THANK YOU :)
I also have some awesome friends who have held my hand, listened to my whining, wiped my tears and given supportive hugs. They have also shared with us the great joy of looking at our daughter's picture for the first time. You all know who you are.
To both kinds of friends.....I say THANK YOU :)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Day 5
Today I am thankful for Sofie's relationship with Jim. It was not too long ago that Sofie was attached to me 24/7. It is so amazing to watch her relationship with Jim grow and develop. There is no better feeling than watching her choose to head out the door with Jim, happily, and say her little Bye Bye to me. She knows that I have always been here, am always here, will always be here. Trust :)
Sunday, November 4, 2012
A Sofie Story
I was talking to a friend on Facebook the other night when we veered off topic and I ended up telling her a Sofie story. She got a huge kick out of it and told me how one day this story will surface again and be told over and over, much to Sofie's probable dislike. I decided then that I should probably put this story in black and white print so my frail and ever failing brain will not have to remember all the details. It is a baptism story, Sofie style!
We arrive at the church for Sofie's baptism on time and I have no idea how that happened. At first Sofie was a little timid, kind of cautious. She always likes to scope out the situation, takes it all in, before jumping in with both feet. She settles down and then starts to explore. She is walking up and down the pews, stepping on every one's feet stopping every once in a while to flash someone her amazing smile. She does this until the choir starts singing. She is intrigued by it, but, more intrigued by the book we are all holding in our hands. She is fascinated with books and reads them out loud. This book is different though, you sing the words in it....her other favorite thing to do, sing. She can't do either, read or sing, but don't tell her that! Sofie does not want to share my hymn book, she wants her own book. She is working on the sharing thing too. Of she goes again and in a few minutes, she comes back with a hymn book for herself. It is a large hymn book so she keeps dropping it on the wood pew which makes a huge banging echo. I try to take the book away from her and try to get her to share mine. NO GO! She takes off again and continues her journey up and down the pews, this time with the hymn book. Finally, it is our turn to stand at the front of the church for the baptism. I think nothing more about the hymn book and the service continues on without a hitch.
Later, we go out to a hotel for brunch with all our family and friends. We are having a lovely time, but, Sofie is starting to get bored so I go looking for her little bag of toys that she takes everywhere with her. From the first day we met her, Sofie has carried around a little bag or back pack of toys or whatever has caught her fancy. There is usually a toy cell phone, one of our old cell phones, a little music player, one of Jim's wire bikes, the tags off her dress that we bought her in China ????? and whatever else she can find for that day. I pick the bag up and it is very heavy. I start pulling stuff out trying to find her cell phone so she can send a text, yes she does that too! I then pull out a rather large HYMN BOOK from church!!!! I turn to Sofie and the look on her face is pure joy and a "look what I got in my little bag Mommy!!!!" She is so proud of herself and really not happy when I make her walk it over to the Minister, who is also out for lunch with us, and give it back. I have no idea when she stashed it or how she even got it into the bag. It was about the same size as the bag. That must have taken some kind of effort.
I am not sure what it means when you commit a theft at your own baptism....................... :)
We arrive at the church for Sofie's baptism on time and I have no idea how that happened. At first Sofie was a little timid, kind of cautious. She always likes to scope out the situation, takes it all in, before jumping in with both feet. She settles down and then starts to explore. She is walking up and down the pews, stepping on every one's feet stopping every once in a while to flash someone her amazing smile. She does this until the choir starts singing. She is intrigued by it, but, more intrigued by the book we are all holding in our hands. She is fascinated with books and reads them out loud. This book is different though, you sing the words in it....her other favorite thing to do, sing. She can't do either, read or sing, but don't tell her that! Sofie does not want to share my hymn book, she wants her own book. She is working on the sharing thing too. Of she goes again and in a few minutes, she comes back with a hymn book for herself. It is a large hymn book so she keeps dropping it on the wood pew which makes a huge banging echo. I try to take the book away from her and try to get her to share mine. NO GO! She takes off again and continues her journey up and down the pews, this time with the hymn book. Finally, it is our turn to stand at the front of the church for the baptism. I think nothing more about the hymn book and the service continues on without a hitch.
Later, we go out to a hotel for brunch with all our family and friends. We are having a lovely time, but, Sofie is starting to get bored so I go looking for her little bag of toys that she takes everywhere with her. From the first day we met her, Sofie has carried around a little bag or back pack of toys or whatever has caught her fancy. There is usually a toy cell phone, one of our old cell phones, a little music player, one of Jim's wire bikes, the tags off her dress that we bought her in China ????? and whatever else she can find for that day. I pick the bag up and it is very heavy. I start pulling stuff out trying to find her cell phone so she can send a text, yes she does that too! I then pull out a rather large HYMN BOOK from church!!!! I turn to Sofie and the look on her face is pure joy and a "look what I got in my little bag Mommy!!!!" She is so proud of herself and really not happy when I make her walk it over to the Minister, who is also out for lunch with us, and give it back. I have no idea when she stashed it or how she even got it into the bag. It was about the same size as the bag. That must have taken some kind of effort.
I am not sure what it means when you commit a theft at your own baptism....................... :)
Day 4
Today I am thankful for Half the Sky Foundation. They are a wonderful charity that works in Chinese orphanages. The began in 1998 when a group of adoptive parents led by Jenny and Richard Bowen started an organization to help improve conditions in Chinese orphanages.
From HTS website:
From HTS website:
In 1997, Jenny and Richard Bowen adopted a toddler from a welfare institution in southern China. From that day, they received a harsh, first-hand education about the harmful effects of institutionalizing small children: their little girl suffered from severe delays and, most worrisome, she was emotionally shut down. Vacant. But after just one year of non-stop loving attention and care from her new family, she was transformed. Truly… a butterfly emerged from that lonely cocoon.
How easy it was to make all the difference in the life of one small child!
What if you could do the same for the many children in China who wait for families – and for those who will never be adopted? It was a simple idea. Why not?
And so, in 1998, Half the Sky, named for the Chinese adage, "Women hold up half the sky,"* was born.
*Although, even today, 95% of healthy abandoned infants are girls, the issue of child abandonment and the reasons behind it grow increasingly complex as China develops. Half the Sky serves all children residing in China's welfare institutions, regardless of gender or the circumstances that brought them there.
They have done phenomenal work in China. HTS states that it has trained 8758 child care workers and helped 63 959 children, yet, there are still 989 541 children still waiting...in one country. There are between 143 and 210 MILLION orphans world wide at this time. When you sit down and read the statistics, they are mind boggling!
We are very grateful to them for taking such good care of Sofie, Lu Jing Jing as she is known to them. She had one main nanny who cared for her and she grew up with the same children. I have pictures of her as a baby and growing up with her friends. I have her life book which documents the first 2 1/2 years of her life. You don't normally get this at all. We are so fortunate and blessed to have all of this information....it is priceless. More importantly, Sofie has a past and it is documented in words and in pictures :)
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Day 3
I am thankful for our eldest daughter Ainsley. Most children wait 9 months to meet their new siblings. Ainsley waited 3 years. She was 4 years old when we started our journey and has gone though countless delays and a complete change of where we were adopting from. When we switched to the China program, someone at school said to Ainsley, "I thought your sister was in Ethiopia." Her explanation sums it up perfectly....." Well, we thought she was in Ethiopia, but, it turns out she has been waiting for us in China the whole time. We just didn't know it!" She absolutely adores her sister and the feeling is mutual. I have never seen two little girls who get so excited to see each other when they have been apart, even if it is only for a short time.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Day 2
I am thankful for Sofie' effervescent smile. It simply lights up a room, melts people's hearts and will do wondrous things in this world.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Day 1
Every day during November, families who have adopted post what they are thankful for. I will post here what I post on Facebook.
DAY 1- My family is complete, my heart is full. I am thankful for my two girls :)
DAY 1- My family is complete, my heart is full. I am thankful for my two girls :)
National Adoption Month
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
We are home again!
This weekend we traveled back to Thunder Bay to have Sofie baptized in the same church where both myself and Ainsley were both baptized and where Jim and I were married. My family has attended St. Paul's for generations and actually helped build the church. It was a special weekend. Sofie did fantastic. She just seems to thrive on new things and never really seems to get overwhelmed by anything. We had a lovely lunch at a hotel afterwards and there were around 30 people there. Sofie finally got to meet most of her relatives.
Sofie in her baptism dress that we bought while we were in China. I took about 50 pictures of her trying to get her to smile and get a shot of the dress!!!! Ainsley also wore the same dress and got to help out during the baptism.
There was only one point where Sofie seems a little taken aback by everything. We stayed in a hotel so the kids could swim in the pool. The first morning when she woke up she was very confused and quiet. She stayed that way through most of breakfast. It was the first time that she had been in a hotel since China. I was taken aback by how much she looked like she did the first week she was with us in China. It took a couple of hours, but, eventually she just seems to pop right out of it and we got a huge Sofie grin. She just took off from there.
There are some health issues in our extended family that we have been dealing with also. This weekend also gave us the time to visit with everyone and catch up. It was a beautiful weekend, but, also a very stressful weekend. It is good to be home again.
Sofie will not be getting her hearing aids today, Halloween. They are stuck in New Jersey and thanks to Hurricane Sandy, they did not ship in time and will be delayed. We are disappointed, but, at the same time feel so blessed for all we have and so terrible for all that some families have lost this weekend. Her next appointment probably will not be until Nov 16 as the Audiologist we are dealing with never seems to have an opening at all. It is very frustrating!!!
Happy Halloween to all. Safe trick or treating to all the kiddos :)
We also wrote a letter to Sofie for her baptism. It was read aloud in the church by her godfather, Shane.
To Sofie Lu, on your baptism.
On May 14, 2012 you entered
our lives and we became your forever family. Today we mark the beginning of
your relationship with God. We know, however, that your journey with him
started long ago.
He held you close and safe
when you were a tiny baby and all alone in this big, giant world. He ensured
that it was loving and caring arms that found you and looked after you until
your Ma Ma, Ba Ba and Jie Jie, Ainsley, could come and get you. He cared for
you when you were very ill and fighting to stay in this world. He tended for your
heart while others mended your health. He has given you the strength,
perseverance and fortitude to overcome more than any small child should ever
have to overcome. He will continue to lift you up and help you through all the
challenges you face in the future.
We thank the Lord everyday
for our family and all the blessings that we have been granted. You, Sofie, are
now safe and wrapped in the love of our Heavenly Father, Mommy, Daddy, your Sister,
your Grandparents and all your Aunts, Uncles and Cousins.
As you grow older, we hope
that the Lord’s teachings remain in your heart forever and you treat yourself
and others with respect, dignity and love, always!
Sofie, may God bless and keep
you safe, for all the days of your life.
Love your Mommy, Daddy and
big sister Ainsley
Friday, October 19, 2012
Audiology etc.
Sorry about the tardiness in the update. We have had quite a week and I just haven't had it in me to talk about it.
The ABR test and dental work were all completed with no problems. Sofie recovered fantastically and is doing well. The ABR showed moderate hearing loss in the RT ear and mild hearing loss in the LT ear. She will wear hearing aids for the rest of her life. She has both conductive hearing loss and sensory neural hearing loss. The good news is that she has more hearing than she has hearing loss. That is awesome news. I was so afraid it would be the other way around.
The dental work was a little more involved than what we thought it would be. She had her teeth sealed and he smoothed out all the rough surfaces. He also filled four teeth and tried to save her two, upper front teeth. It was not to be. One had an abscess and had to be removed and the one beside it just fell apart and he had nothing left to even attempt a crown. She will have no front teeth until she is 7 or 8 and her permanent teeth come in. It hasn't slowed her down at all. She had nacho chips and guacamole for dinner that night. She does have hard time biting into food and tearing into it so we have to cut up most food for her.
Sofie did amazing at her Audiology appointment where she was fitted for her hearing aids. What was supposed to be a 90 min appointment ended up lasting almost 2 1/2 hours. She played, she read books, she had her ear tubes checked ( they are open and working ), she had foam molds made of her ear canals, she ate snacks and then she found a package of wipes in my purse and proceeded to clean the office :) She was awesome and amazing as always and she does far better than we do. It was an overwhelming appointment. The amount of information that we were provided was just WOW!!! It is kinda weird. When we started the process to adopt from China we researched all kinds of medical conditions. I knew a lot about cleft lip and palate. It just feels like there is so much I don't know about hearing loss. They walk you through the whole process but you still just feel WOW! I know we will work our way through it and so will Sofie and we will all be fine.....we just have to get there and it is a process.
I have tried to explain to people why we are sort of in shock. I cannot explain it at all. I think you have to have gone through this to understand fully. It is a strange experience to have someone come and talk to you about how much your child hears and what you are going to have to do to improve it. I know without a doubt that Sofie will be fine and Sofie will do great. She ALWAYS does. It just hard as the parent because you are supposed to nurture and cocoon your child. It is so hard to explain. My heart just aches for this beautiful, wonderful, adorable little girl who has been through so much, yet, continues to give so much. She is amazing!
We also found out through this whole process that Sofie will need to go for more testing. She needs a CT Scan and we need to go to a Genetics Clinic for some testing. The CT will be done to not only rule out any abnormality which could be surgically corrected, but also, to rule out an abnormality that could at any moment result in permanent and total hearing loss. The Genetic testing will be done to rule out any type of "syndrome." There are about 8 of them.
I hate labels. I hate labeling children. Syndromes label kids. What do you think of when you hear that word. She may indeed have a syndrome but is doesn't change who she is. She is wonderful and smart and funny. I owe it to her to get as much information for her as I can, for the day when she decides to have children. So we will proceed. It doesn't and will not change anything. Sofie is Sofie and she is wonderful!
So, having someone tell you that your child can't hear very well is hard. You should try someone telling you that you need to take your child to a Genetics Clinic. My heart hit the floor. I hadn't even considered that..........one day at a time :)
Thank you so much for reading this and for listening to me. I NEEDED to get this out. It was probably the most difficult post I have ever written. My heart is in every word........one day at a time :)
The ABR test and dental work were all completed with no problems. Sofie recovered fantastically and is doing well. The ABR showed moderate hearing loss in the RT ear and mild hearing loss in the LT ear. She will wear hearing aids for the rest of her life. She has both conductive hearing loss and sensory neural hearing loss. The good news is that she has more hearing than she has hearing loss. That is awesome news. I was so afraid it would be the other way around.
The dental work was a little more involved than what we thought it would be. She had her teeth sealed and he smoothed out all the rough surfaces. He also filled four teeth and tried to save her two, upper front teeth. It was not to be. One had an abscess and had to be removed and the one beside it just fell apart and he had nothing left to even attempt a crown. She will have no front teeth until she is 7 or 8 and her permanent teeth come in. It hasn't slowed her down at all. She had nacho chips and guacamole for dinner that night. She does have hard time biting into food and tearing into it so we have to cut up most food for her.
Sofie did amazing at her Audiology appointment where she was fitted for her hearing aids. What was supposed to be a 90 min appointment ended up lasting almost 2 1/2 hours. She played, she read books, she had her ear tubes checked ( they are open and working ), she had foam molds made of her ear canals, she ate snacks and then she found a package of wipes in my purse and proceeded to clean the office :) She was awesome and amazing as always and she does far better than we do. It was an overwhelming appointment. The amount of information that we were provided was just WOW!!! It is kinda weird. When we started the process to adopt from China we researched all kinds of medical conditions. I knew a lot about cleft lip and palate. It just feels like there is so much I don't know about hearing loss. They walk you through the whole process but you still just feel WOW! I know we will work our way through it and so will Sofie and we will all be fine.....we just have to get there and it is a process.
I have tried to explain to people why we are sort of in shock. I cannot explain it at all. I think you have to have gone through this to understand fully. It is a strange experience to have someone come and talk to you about how much your child hears and what you are going to have to do to improve it. I know without a doubt that Sofie will be fine and Sofie will do great. She ALWAYS does. It just hard as the parent because you are supposed to nurture and cocoon your child. It is so hard to explain. My heart just aches for this beautiful, wonderful, adorable little girl who has been through so much, yet, continues to give so much. She is amazing!
We also found out through this whole process that Sofie will need to go for more testing. She needs a CT Scan and we need to go to a Genetics Clinic for some testing. The CT will be done to not only rule out any abnormality which could be surgically corrected, but also, to rule out an abnormality that could at any moment result in permanent and total hearing loss. The Genetic testing will be done to rule out any type of "syndrome." There are about 8 of them.
I hate labels. I hate labeling children. Syndromes label kids. What do you think of when you hear that word. She may indeed have a syndrome but is doesn't change who she is. She is wonderful and smart and funny. I owe it to her to get as much information for her as I can, for the day when she decides to have children. So we will proceed. It doesn't and will not change anything. Sofie is Sofie and she is wonderful!
So, having someone tell you that your child can't hear very well is hard. You should try someone telling you that you need to take your child to a Genetics Clinic. My heart hit the floor. I hadn't even considered that..........one day at a time :)
Thank you so much for reading this and for listening to me. I NEEDED to get this out. It was probably the most difficult post I have ever written. My heart is in every word........one day at a time :)
Saturday, October 13, 2012
A thought
I have been thinking a lot this last 24 hours. I also had a great talk with Jim's cousin who is also hearing impaired. She told me that it is OK to be upset. It is a process that we have to go though. I know Sofie will do just fine. I also now know what is upsetting me. Everything else we have been able to "fix." Her cleft was fixed through surgery, her speech could be corrected through speech therapy, her teeth can be fixed with a great dentist, a bone graft and orthodontic work. This is the one thing I can't "fix." I can't make it better. Hearing aids will help her hear and will open up a whole big, new world for her, but, I can't fix it. I can't make it go away.
I know with time we will be fine. Sofie will be fine and the rest of us will be fine too. We will move on and tackle her hearing and speech with everything we have. I know that she will talk and she will talk and talk and talk :)
Thanks everyone for your support, understanding and for just listening. Your kind words really mean a lot to us :)
Today I watched Ainsley and Sofie walk through the cul de sac delivering Ainsley's flyers for Girl Scouts door to door. It was so cute. Just melted my heart to see the two of them walking hand in hand. Life is good. It is very good :)
I know with time we will be fine. Sofie will be fine and the rest of us will be fine too. We will move on and tackle her hearing and speech with everything we have. I know that she will talk and she will talk and talk and talk :)
Thanks everyone for your support, understanding and for just listening. Your kind words really mean a lot to us :)
Today I watched Ainsley and Sofie walk through the cul de sac delivering Ainsley's flyers for Girl Scouts door to door. It was so cute. Just melted my heart to see the two of them walking hand in hand. Life is good. It is very good :)
Friday, October 12, 2012
Home
I started this blog post this morning. What was I thinking!!! It is now 10:00 pm and I am finally getting back to it. Jim and I were talking tonight and he asked me if I was going to finish the blog entry tonight. I told him I had to, my peeps were waiting for an update :) It is nice to have peeps!
Without further a do.....here is what I started this morning.
We arrived home at around 5:00 pm last night. They released us earlier than we thought they would. Yeahhhh...of course the last time that happened we ended up back in the ER with pneumonia so we are hoping to avoid a repeat. She seems to be doing great. Sofie had nacho chips and guacamole for dinner last night which is a major accomplishment considering all she had done.
The dental stuff was done first and it ended up being a little worse than what we had originally thought. They sealed her teeth, smoothed down all the rough edges to prevent food from being caught in it and filled four teeth on the bottom. He then went about trying to fix her two upper front teeth. Turns out, he wasn't fixing them, he was trying to save them. It didn't work. Her one tooth had an abscess and had to be removed. The other tooth just disintegrated when he tried to remove the decay. There was nothing left to adhere a crown to so Miss Sofie Lu will be without any front teeth until she is 7 or 8. Sadly, removing teeth at this age does not mean that the permanent teeth will come in early. It actually delays there arrival. I feel so bad that she had been walking around with an abscess tooth and none of us had any idea. That is how tough this little girl is. PS...... her wonderful dentist, at the end of his talk with us, asked us if we had dental insurance. We said yes, dental insurance doesn't cover all that much. He then proceeded to tell us that we would not be getting a bill. He was only going to charge us what our insurance covered. He is an amazing man and truly loves what he does. All he does is pediatric dentistry :)
Up next was the ABR, or the Auditory Brainstem Response hearing test. They put electrodes on her forehead and behind her ears and introduce sounds through head phones on her ears. She has to be sedated as there are measuring the auditory nerve's response to the sounds. The test took 2 hours. It felt like the longest two hours of my life. It was worse than waiting for her palate and lip surgery. It is very difficult sitting there waiting for someone to come out and tell you how much your child can hear. It is even more difficult to hear someone tell you that your child has hearing loss. Sofie has mild hearing loss in her LT ear and moderate hearing loss in her RT ear. She will be fitted for hearing aids on Tuesday. Sofie is doing great, talking up a storm. She is so smart. She picks things up like that. Unless you talk loudly and to her LT side all she hears is mumbly gibberish. She has a total of 19 words that she uses on a daily basis although some of them, only Jim, Ainsley and I know what they mean. The rest of the time she just talks non stop....and she does her sign language, sings and laughs and reads books. Yep, her most favorite thing to do is read a book to us. She doesn't want anyone to read it to her, she wants to read it, upside down too! She is good!
I am doing better now. I have had a hard time since her ABR. You already kinda know what the test is going to show, but, to actually hear those words uttered is like a huge blow to your gut. You just want to cocoon them and protect them. She has been through so much already and I just want to make her life as easy for her as I can. I can't and she will do great!!! She is such a fighter. She just goes through life with that great big grin on her face. She is amazing! She has no fear. I realized today how stressed out I had been about this test. Today was a great big release. It is a process I need to go through and I will get there. I cannot wait to see her when they turn on her hearing aids. Just think of all the things she has been missing.
I wish I could take Sofie and fly all over the world with her and introduce each and every one of you to her. Anyone who has met Sofie and has spent any amount of time with her knows what I am talking about. She is amazing. She effects people. She changes people. People just stop and look and talk to Sofie and are instantly changed, they are happy. They leave the encounter with a huge smile on their face. I see it happen over and over again. It is such a privilege to be a Mom to this little spit fire. It is also amazing to watch Sofie and Ainsley together. They love each other to the core.
One day at a time............. our new adventure begins :)
Without further a do.....here is what I started this morning.
We arrived home at around 5:00 pm last night. They released us earlier than we thought they would. Yeahhhh...of course the last time that happened we ended up back in the ER with pneumonia so we are hoping to avoid a repeat. She seems to be doing great. Sofie had nacho chips and guacamole for dinner last night which is a major accomplishment considering all she had done.
The dental stuff was done first and it ended up being a little worse than what we had originally thought. They sealed her teeth, smoothed down all the rough edges to prevent food from being caught in it and filled four teeth on the bottom. He then went about trying to fix her two upper front teeth. Turns out, he wasn't fixing them, he was trying to save them. It didn't work. Her one tooth had an abscess and had to be removed. The other tooth just disintegrated when he tried to remove the decay. There was nothing left to adhere a crown to so Miss Sofie Lu will be without any front teeth until she is 7 or 8. Sadly, removing teeth at this age does not mean that the permanent teeth will come in early. It actually delays there arrival. I feel so bad that she had been walking around with an abscess tooth and none of us had any idea. That is how tough this little girl is. PS...... her wonderful dentist, at the end of his talk with us, asked us if we had dental insurance. We said yes, dental insurance doesn't cover all that much. He then proceeded to tell us that we would not be getting a bill. He was only going to charge us what our insurance covered. He is an amazing man and truly loves what he does. All he does is pediatric dentistry :)
Up next was the ABR, or the Auditory Brainstem Response hearing test. They put electrodes on her forehead and behind her ears and introduce sounds through head phones on her ears. She has to be sedated as there are measuring the auditory nerve's response to the sounds. The test took 2 hours. It felt like the longest two hours of my life. It was worse than waiting for her palate and lip surgery. It is very difficult sitting there waiting for someone to come out and tell you how much your child can hear. It is even more difficult to hear someone tell you that your child has hearing loss. Sofie has mild hearing loss in her LT ear and moderate hearing loss in her RT ear. She will be fitted for hearing aids on Tuesday. Sofie is doing great, talking up a storm. She is so smart. She picks things up like that. Unless you talk loudly and to her LT side all she hears is mumbly gibberish. She has a total of 19 words that she uses on a daily basis although some of them, only Jim, Ainsley and I know what they mean. The rest of the time she just talks non stop....and she does her sign language, sings and laughs and reads books. Yep, her most favorite thing to do is read a book to us. She doesn't want anyone to read it to her, she wants to read it, upside down too! She is good!
I am doing better now. I have had a hard time since her ABR. You already kinda know what the test is going to show, but, to actually hear those words uttered is like a huge blow to your gut. You just want to cocoon them and protect them. She has been through so much already and I just want to make her life as easy for her as I can. I can't and she will do great!!! She is such a fighter. She just goes through life with that great big grin on her face. She is amazing! She has no fear. I realized today how stressed out I had been about this test. Today was a great big release. It is a process I need to go through and I will get there. I cannot wait to see her when they turn on her hearing aids. Just think of all the things she has been missing.
I wish I could take Sofie and fly all over the world with her and introduce each and every one of you to her. Anyone who has met Sofie and has spent any amount of time with her knows what I am talking about. She is amazing. She effects people. She changes people. People just stop and look and talk to Sofie and are instantly changed, they are happy. They leave the encounter with a huge smile on their face. I see it happen over and over again. It is such a privilege to be a Mom to this little spit fire. It is also amazing to watch Sofie and Ainsley together. They love each other to the core.
One day at a time............. our new adventure begins :)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Thursday
I have not been myself this week. I keep telling myself that there is nothing I can do about it but just deal with whatever happens. I wish "myself" would listen to myself.
Sofie goes for her ABR hearing test and dental work/extractions on Thursday, tomorrow. I am very stressed out about it for a number of reasons. I am not too stressed out about the dental stuff, rather, it is the anesthesia and operating room that goes with it that is bothering me. We have just this week almost gotten back to a normal sleep pattern with Sofie since her surgery in July. By normal I mean that the night terrors have only occurred once this week and she has had 3 nights in a row where she didn't wake up at all all night. I hope I didn't just jinx myself!! I am very worried what another experience in the OR and the anesthesia is going to do to her. I pray nothing. I have talked several other Mom's whose kids have gone through the same sleeping problems after surgery. I hope that Thursday doesn't set her back.
I am also very concerned about the hearing test. Not really concerned, but, in turmoil. Part of me wants them to tell us that her hearing is much better than what they originally thought. The downside to this is that it doesn't explain why her speech is not developing. It doesn't explain why the 2 1/2 year old chatter box in China had no discernible words in Mandarin. Just Chinese baby talk as our guides told us. I know that some kids just talk later than others. I tell myself that over and over. The thing is that she talks all the time. We just can't quite understand what she is saying. I think it is starting to bother her too. She has started acting out when she is angry or frustrated. She can't communicate what is wrong or what she wants. It is hard to deal with :)
The other part of me is very worried that they will come back and tell us that her hearing is much worse. She has been through so much already. She just needs to be able to hear and then we can deal with whatever else we have to. And then I try to breath.........it is all out my control and I just need to take one day at a time.....wish me heart would listen to my brain.
I am not looking forward to sitting at the hospital waiting for them to come and tell me how much my sweet little baby can hear. Her dental surgery is at 11:45 and takes about an hour and then it is the ABR. It can take anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 1/2 hours. Jim won't tell me if 45 minutes is a good thing or a bad thing :)
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow......
Sofie goes for her ABR hearing test and dental work/extractions on Thursday, tomorrow. I am very stressed out about it for a number of reasons. I am not too stressed out about the dental stuff, rather, it is the anesthesia and operating room that goes with it that is bothering me. We have just this week almost gotten back to a normal sleep pattern with Sofie since her surgery in July. By normal I mean that the night terrors have only occurred once this week and she has had 3 nights in a row where she didn't wake up at all all night. I hope I didn't just jinx myself!! I am very worried what another experience in the OR and the anesthesia is going to do to her. I pray nothing. I have talked several other Mom's whose kids have gone through the same sleeping problems after surgery. I hope that Thursday doesn't set her back.
I am also very concerned about the hearing test. Not really concerned, but, in turmoil. Part of me wants them to tell us that her hearing is much better than what they originally thought. The downside to this is that it doesn't explain why her speech is not developing. It doesn't explain why the 2 1/2 year old chatter box in China had no discernible words in Mandarin. Just Chinese baby talk as our guides told us. I know that some kids just talk later than others. I tell myself that over and over. The thing is that she talks all the time. We just can't quite understand what she is saying. I think it is starting to bother her too. She has started acting out when she is angry or frustrated. She can't communicate what is wrong or what she wants. It is hard to deal with :)
The other part of me is very worried that they will come back and tell us that her hearing is much worse. She has been through so much already. She just needs to be able to hear and then we can deal with whatever else we have to. And then I try to breath.........it is all out my control and I just need to take one day at a time.....wish me heart would listen to my brain.
I am not looking forward to sitting at the hospital waiting for them to come and tell me how much my sweet little baby can hear. Her dental surgery is at 11:45 and takes about an hour and then it is the ABR. It can take anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 1/2 hours. Jim won't tell me if 45 minutes is a good thing or a bad thing :)
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow......
I love watching them play together :)
Monday, October 8, 2012
Before and after
I have been meaning to put this photo together for a while now. I finally got around to it :)
The first is a picture of Sofie prior to her surgery for her palate repair and lip revision. The second is a picture of her after. Anyone who has read my prior posts knows how conflicted I was over having Sofie's lip revised. I was totally and absolutely in love with her sweet little face and I didn't want a single thing to change. She was perfect just the way she was. I was also very afraid that it would change her smile. Her smile lights up a room and has an amazing effect on people. The practical side of me knew that one day she would be a teenager, and how her lip looked would make a difference. We only want the best for her and want to give her every opportunity to flourish. As you can see, her surgeon did a fantastic job!! He is an amazing person and does amazing work not only in our area, but, he travels to several other countries with a surgical group and gives kids all over the world a new lease on life. We feel blessed that he was able to help Sofie :)
The first is a picture of Sofie prior to her surgery for her palate repair and lip revision. The second is a picture of her after. Anyone who has read my prior posts knows how conflicted I was over having Sofie's lip revised. I was totally and absolutely in love with her sweet little face and I didn't want a single thing to change. She was perfect just the way she was. I was also very afraid that it would change her smile. Her smile lights up a room and has an amazing effect on people. The practical side of me knew that one day she would be a teenager, and how her lip looked would make a difference. We only want the best for her and want to give her every opportunity to flourish. As you can see, her surgeon did a fantastic job!! He is an amazing person and does amazing work not only in our area, but, he travels to several other countries with a surgical group and gives kids all over the world a new lease on life. We feel blessed that he was able to help Sofie :)
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
A very warm Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to all our friends and family!! We have so much to be so thankful for this year. We are spending a quiet thanksgiving together this year, just the four of us!
As you carve your turkey this year and sit down with your families, take a look around the table at all your loved ones. Take a really good look, take a breath and take it all in. Say thank you for all that you have and for all whom you love. We are all so very lucky and so very blessed. Life may not be perfect and we may always have stresses and strains in our day to day life, but, we are loved and we have others to love. In the end, that is all that really matters.
We will be saying an extra prayer this year for all the children all over the world who are still searching for the one family that will be their forever family. May many children be able to find the love, comfort and security of a family this year :)
As you carve your turkey this year and sit down with your families, take a look around the table at all your loved ones. Take a really good look, take a breath and take it all in. Say thank you for all that you have and for all whom you love. We are all so very lucky and so very blessed. Life may not be perfect and we may always have stresses and strains in our day to day life, but, we are loved and we have others to love. In the end, that is all that really matters.
We will be saying an extra prayer this year for all the children all over the world who are still searching for the one family that will be their forever family. May many children be able to find the love, comfort and security of a family this year :)
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
No Glasses :)
Sofie passed her eye exam with flying colors today. She has perfect vision! It was such a relief to hear those words. In true Sofie fashion, she shed not a single tear, even with the eye drops. She did everything that was asked of her and then said goodbye to absolutely everyone in the waiting room on our way out. She truly has an amazing effect on people. Tomorrow is another pre op appointment. I think by now Sofie even knows how to get back to the exam rooms at the pediatricians office all by herself :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)