Thinking of words

I been sitting here staring at the screen trying to think of what to say. I am drawing a blank. Tonight is the night that the referrals that were declined are returned back to the list and the agencies try to make more matches. Normally, I would be stressed out and going crazy and announcing it to everyone everywhere. I have nothing tonight. I am not expecting a match or anticipating one either. I am not even sad?

November is National Adoption Month. There are so many children out there who need a family, domestically and internationally. The trend, I fear, is moving away from international adoption. Many organizations are lobbing against adoption to another country and more toward the child remaining in their country of birth. I am all for that. Adoption is not the answer to the orphan crisis. No child should have to leave their homeland to find the love and acceptance of a family. This only exists in fantasy right now, yet some organizations advocate against adoption. These same organizations have yet to come up a plan or solution to assist these countries in keeping and caring for these children. And who continues to suffer the most through all the political BS....the children! Always the children suffer. I don't know what the solution is....I have no idea.

I fear the winds are changing in China. No one knows what is going on or what the CCCWA is thinking. They don't talk much. Something is changing though. I just pray that we are not too late again and that our daughter finds us and we find her. We need each other. I do know that we are in this for the long haul. I do not have the emotional stamina nor the desire to do more paperwork to change again and start all over. So, we will continue to have faith and perseverance.....and the occasional emotional breakdown.

I am going to bed soon. I will not be up waiting until 11:00 pm for the phone to ring. That just about killed me on Monday. I will sleep with my cell phone though.........just in case! Good luck to everyone tonight :)